who is it that I am becoming?

I was talking with a woman the other day who is struggling with acceptance.  I encouraged her to be herself.  That in trying to be please others, she was making herself miserable.  It can be so easy to fall into that trap.  Who doesn’t want others to like them?

 So today I read a friend’s blog (check it out here).  This got me to thinking about what is really important to me.    Do I see growth and what areas need attention?  

I  know that this pre-menopausal state that I am finding myself in has caused quite a stir in my emotions.  I think that this is the time in my life that, if I were a guy, I would be buying a brand new sports car and going on a long road trip!!   Doing the responsible thing has certainly been more of a challenge now that my body has turned on me.   

There are times that my hormones get the better of me.   Hormones and attitude –they seem to go together like Bonnie and Clyde.  **Heavy sigh**   I have also found that a crazy busy schedule only magnifies this problem.  So how am I doing on slowing down?  Not so good.

It is so easy to fill my schedule with work, work, work.  I know that I have put in way too many hours at the clinic.  I also know that it is just  ‘easier’ for me to do many of the things I do at church.  “Easier” in the sense that I can choose when to do it, instead of doing it at the last minute because whoever said they were going to — didn’t. 

However, I also know that this isn’t helpful to me or them.  Follow through is an important step in maturity.  I have a friend who has told me that she loves to start things.  She can have all kinds of energy to start a new project.  Finishing is a whole different story.   

Sometimes, many times, finishing or follow through comes at a great sacrifice.  It is important that we count the cost ahead of time.  It is also important that we make it a priority to do what we have said we would do. 

This is why some people just won’t commit to doing anything.   Then they don’t have to deal with the ‘follow through’ if something else comes up or they just don’t feel like doing it at the moment.  Yet that creates another problem.  When people do not commit,  they cannot be counted on to help.   This can be discouraging to whoever is trying to organize  an event, fund raiser, outing,  etc.  

There are times when things do come up.  There are also times when we just plain forget.  Acknowledging this with a phone call or an apology goes a long ways.   It is those times that grace becomes evident or at least it should. 

Here is a recent example of what happens when people don’t commit.   We had a hot dog stand last weekend.  There were two time slots.  The first time slot was the best one for my schedule.   However, only one person was signed up for the second shift.  As much as I really wanted to work the first shift there was no way I was going to take the chance that others “might” show up to help her.     

However, I do see growth in my life with this recent example.  In the past I would have worked the first shift and just stayed for the second.   Instead I spoke with the women doing the first shift and explained to them why I was switching. 

Who is it that I am becoming?  What direction has my life taken?  Am I making time for what is utmost important?  Are my priorities in order? 

til next time