what battles are you facing?

What battles are you facing?  What is trying to rob you of your sleep?  Is worry trying to weaken your faith?

It seems everywhere I look people are dealing with huge issues.  Whether it is finances, marriage, health, stress at work, children, or you name it – the pressures of life can be daunting.

Pastor’s are not immune from stress.  In fact, those on the front lines can experience a whole host of issues that are meant to do one thing — knock them out of the war.

I love to rejoice with people who have had amazing answers to prayer.  Yet, it seems that lately my heart has been breaking with those who find themselves in the middle of a very ‘long night.’

How do I come out from under the weight?  How do I stop it from bringing me down?  I turn my eyes upon Jesus and lay it all at His feet.  When I wait to do that, I also can feel overwhelmed by the enormity of it all.  My advice to all, don’t wait – give it to Jesus.

I am reminded of one of my all time favorite sound tracks.  I just may have to sing it Sunday.

Warrior is a child/ Do I trust You

“Lately I’ve been winning battles left and right.  But even winners can get wounded in the fight………………………Do I trust You Lord?  Does the river flow?  Do I trust You Lord?  Does the North wind blow?  You can see my heart, you can read my mind and you’ve  got to know I would rather die than to lose my faith in the One I love……………… I will trust You Lord when I don’t know why.  I will trust You Lord til the day I die.  I will trust You Lord when I’m blind with pain. You were God before and You’ll never change.  I will trust You!  I will trust You!  I will trust You Lord!”

There is no doubt about it, sometimes the pain is deep.   David talks about the wounds of a friend – Psalm 41:9 “Even my close friend in whom I trusted,
Who ate my bread, Has lifted up his heel against me”   I sure don’t understand people sometimes.

So to all those who are facing situations that at times seem so overwhelming – remember God is still God.  He is at work.   You can most assuredly trust His heart.  He will make a way.  Let the faith that is deep in you rise up and shout “I will trust You Lord when I don’t understand.  I will trust You Lord when the night seems so long.  I will trust You Lord when my heart is breaking.  I will trust You Lord!!”

til next time

life and death

Lately, I’ve been thinking about life and death.  Living is something that we do everyday.  You don’t even have to give it a thought.  Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months.  Before you know it another year is gone.

On the other hand, death can take you completely by surprise.   One minute you are making plans and the next you get a phone call that changes your world.

A little over a year ago my most favorite aunt passed away.  It came as a surprise but yet not really.   I was unable to attend her funeral but I was  ok with that.  My aunt knew I loved her and that she had played a huge role in my early years.  She knew this because I told her many times.   I also wrote her a letter expressing my love and appreciation.   She was finally Home.   (home being heaven)

This Sunday I got word that my last living Aunt had passed away.

Sunday was a very full day for us.  We had 2 worship services, then grabbed a quick-lunch and headed to the town park.   The  local church bands  were coming together to have praise in the park.  In memory of 9 -11  the mayor also was going to address the crowd.

As we were pulling into the park,  I got the message that Aunt Doris had died.      This death hit me hard.  I didn’t have time to think about why this was.  People were everywhere.   We were to take the stage at 4:00.  People were counting on me.

Seriously, I didn’t know how that was going to happen.  It is just one more example, in my life, of how God comes through in amazing ways.  While we were sitting there listening to the other bands, God was ministering to my heart.

Then it was our turn.  This was our second year participating and it was absolutely the most fun I have had.    I made more mistakes than I care to admit.  That alone could have caused a melt down right there on the spot.  After all I was processing life and death.   My heart was overwhelmed.  This did not make a good combination for keeping it all together.

Yet again God came through.  In His infinite wisdom He gave me such joy and gladness.    Now He could have caused my fingers to do what they have done a thousand times but then would I have known He was right there helping me?  Probably not.   The realization that He was right there pouring peace and joy into my heart was beyond words.

Why was her death harder than the death of my most favorite aunt?  I have come to the conclusion that death can bring up a sense of loss of what could have been – what should have been — but what wasn’t.   I had long ago dealt with the issues concerning my aunt.   Yet her death brought sadness and loss to the forefront of my heart.

It has also made me more mindful of my life and my impact on those around me.    During practice on Saturday I told our band to be sure to smile because we do love to praise God  and we should be sure to show that.  I reminded them and myself of that before we went on.

Live life to the fullest!  Laugh as often as you can!  Love all those around you!  Choose joy!  Live out loud!

What are you showing people?

til next time

day 10

I am on day 10 of a 30 day challenge.  To say it has changed my life would be an understatement.  (the challenge — For the next 30 days I am going to be mindful to not complain about anything. click here to read more)

How am I doing?

Some days it is absolutely not a challenge.  I breeze through those days.  Others days, however, make up for it and are challenging beyond measure.

What I have found is that I am much more aware of when it is coming out of my mouth.  It is happening less and less.  The coolest thing, though, is when the thought is there but I recognize it before it leaves my mouth.   This is happening more and more.  (hmm reminds me of the scripture to take every thought captive)

I had a co-worker tell me Thursday that she was going to do the same thing.  I was very excited for her.  Although I did tell her to be ready.  As a christian, the devil loves it when we grumble, murmur, or complain.  Therefore he will kick it up a few notches when we purpose to stop doing those things.  He doesn’t think we can do it and he is working to stack the deck in his favor.

That said, the good news is that God does think we can do it.  He is right there ready to help us. After all, He wants us to walk in joy and peace.  Last I checked grumbling, whining, and murmuring were not synonymous with peace.

All of that said, today -day 10 – is starting off very challenging.  I heard some news today that just makes my heart sad.  It’s like this fountain of weariness has threatening to overtake me.

Knowing this is a trial and that I don’t have to act on or live by my feelings.  This is what I did.

I turned to my love letter from God.  Isaiah 40:27-31  I read it in various translations.  The Message bible says it best for me today.

^27-31Why would you ever complain, O Jacob,
or, whine, Israel, saying,
“God has lost track of me.
He doesn’t care what happens to me”?
Don’t you know anything? Haven’t you been listening?
God doesn’t come and go. God lasts.
He’s Creator of all you can see or imagine.
He doesn’t get tired out, doesn’t pause to catch his breath.
And he knows everything, inside and out.
He energizes those who get tired,
gives fresh strength to dropouts.
For even young people tire and drop out,
young folk in their prime stumble and fall.
But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.
They spread their wings and soar like eagles,
They run and don’t get tired,
they walk and don’t lag behind.

I read it over and over again until it permeated my very being and quieted those feelings.   I looked for, found, and allowed truth to rise up.  (Feelings can lie to us and try to sway us to go down a road that is not in our best interest.  I don’t want to be ruled by my feelings.  I want to walk in truth.)

My heart is still sad, but my hope is renewed.  I know that God has a plan.  He is working things out and He is my strength.   I will walk in His truth.

Are your feelings lying to you?

til next time

garbage truck

An important life lesson, one that will make life so much easier is  –”Don’t take it personally. “  This fits right along with one of my signature verses.  “Great peace have they that love Thy law and nothing shall offend them.”  Psalm 119:165

The Law of the Garbage truck!

whether it really happened or not — it is a great illustration!

One day I hopped in a taxi and we took off for the airport.
We were driving in the right lane when suddenly a black car jumped out of a parking space right in front of us.

My taxi driver slammed on his brakes, skidded, and missed the other car by just inches!  The driver of the other car whipped his head around and started yelling at us.

My taxi driver just smiled and waved at the guy.   And I mean, he was really friendly.
So I asked, ‘Why did you just do that?  This guy almost ruined your car and sent us to the hospital!’
This is when my taxi driver taught me what I now call,  ‘The Law of the Garbage Truck.’   He explained that many people are like garbage trucks.  They run around full of garbage, full of frustration, full of anger, and full of disappointment.  As their garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it and sometimes they’ll dump it on you.

Don’t take it personally.

Just smile, wave, wish them well, and move on.  Don’t take their garbage and spread it to other people at work, at home, or on the streets.

The bottom line is that successful people do not let garbage trucks take over their day.
Life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets, so love the people who treat you right.  Pray for the ones who don’t.

Life is ten percent what you make it and ninety percent how you take it!

Have a garbage-free day!

I encourage you to take it one step further.  Many times I have been the one to encounter someone who has just been dumped on.  By offering kindness  I have seen the damage of the garbage truck reversed.

As we allow God to work in us and through us  – we bring to every situation hope — hope that God will turn ashes into beauty, mourning into joy, darkness into dawn,  and that He will make a way where there seems to be no way.  We bring God’s peace into any situation of turmoil.

So don’t take it personally; don’t fall into the offended trap.  Guard against the bitterness root.  Instead like water off a ducks back, let the harshness fall off and let God shine through you.  The more you do this, the easier it will become.

til next time

are you missing it?

Today I was able to sit through  the early service.   I have heard numerous ministers throughout my life and there is no one I’d rather hear than my husband.  I often tell him that my only regret (if you can call it that) is that there aren’t more people hearing him.  Yet I leave that in God’s hands.  He knows what He is doing.

We have a staffed nursery for second service.  However, if there is a baby in first service who is struggling to sit quietly, it is my privilege to take him/her to the nursery and play with toys.   While I was pleased to be able to sit in service it did mean that Wyatt was not there.  I missed him.

When the boys were babies I would get them up, changed, fed, changed, dressed and hopefully out the door on time only to get to church and spend the entire service in the nursery.

For a stay at home mom this was not encouraging.  I wanted/needed corporate praise and worship.  Being able to find time in the word, while chasing after twins, was hit and miss.  I wanted to soak up the preaching of the word.  Yet I found myself in the nursery without even a speaker.

So that’s when I decided, that one day, when it was up to me, I would help mom’s get the most out of service.

Today’s word came from the book of Esther. I encourage you to read the whole book.  It has only 10 chapters.  It is a great story.  (check out http://biblegateway.com )

Read Esther 4:13-14   For such a time as this!

Mordecai challenged Ester to think about why she was where she was at.

“God had a reason to place you in that palace and it wasn’t just to bless you by being Queen.”

God has a plan.  It is not necessary that we know all that is going on, nor will we be able to  understand it fully.  God has placed each one of us right where we are.  He has a plan.

Think about who we are and who God is.

We like to be able to control things, to have a say in what happens.  Sometimes people even try to control God.

“God You have to…..”

“Um, no He doesn’t.”

There comes a point in which we reach the limits of our understanding.

Lord I don’t know what the future holds but Lord I trust You!

What does God expect from us?  How should we live?

Read Micah 6:8

Do justly — learn what is the right thing to do and then do it.  Search the scriptures.  God will give us the wisdom that we need to be able to do right.

Love mercy — be willing to forgive.  Mercy is when you have the power to exercise judgment on a person who has wronged you and you extend mercy – forgiveness.   Love mercy — offer mercy.

Humbly walk with God – God wants us to have fellowship with Him.  Day by day we can have a sense that God is with us.  He is in control.  We may not understand why or be able to control the situation but God loves us.   It has not taken God by surprise. There are reasons we can’t begin to grasp.

We can trust and be obedient to the God who loves us.   He is with us.  He sees all and works in all situations to bring about His plan.

Trust Him!

I entitled this ‘are you missing it?” because God spoke to my heart today during this message about situations that I am facing.  I so want Him to just remove the struggles and smooth the rough waters.  I can become so focused on this that I miss the real miracle God is doing.  He is using the struggles and the rough waters to bring about change in my life.  Nothing causes me to dig deeper than pain.

“For such a time as this” God has me right where He wants me.    His plan is one of goodness.  God is Good!!   I don’t want to miss it.  I want to live every moment of it to the fullest.   God is at work.

I will close with a song we sang this morning.    “I can feel You flowing through me.   Holy Spirit come and fill me up.  Love and mercy fill my senses, I am thirsty for Your presence Lord.  Come and fill me up”

What is God wanting to do with you and where He has you -  at this moment?

til next time

now please! please? pretty please??

What do you do when you must make a decision and the choices are all unacceptable?

Do you pray about it?

Do you flip a coin?

Do you walk around in denial?  (Denial is just making the choice to do nothing.)

Maybe you get mad and stomp your foot.   (I haven’t found this technique to be very helpful.)

Dr. is still pretty hopeful that the ringing in my ears will stop completely.  The inner ears are now fluid free and appear to be healthy.  Yet the ringing rears its ugly head.  It is  the last thing I hear before going off to sleep and the first thing I hear when I wake up.  It also randomly shows up.

It tests my patience, sanity, and emotions  like nothing else has.

I do have longer periods of silence.   Oh – Silence is golden.  Each time finds me hoping this is it – no more ringing.

The next step?

I could go to an Ear, Nose, and Throat doctor.  Apparently there is this device that can produce a form of white noise that will actually counter the high-pitched noise I hear.  (On the one hand, it is very impressive that they have this device.  On the other hand, I don’t want something in my ear 24/7.)  I could go have a CT scan.  I could stay with physical therapy.  I could stay on the medicine that I am taking.  I could do nothing, but how long will I be able to do that?

I have often wondered, since this started, if it isn’t one more thing showing me that I still have room for improvement in my schedule and commitment department?  Is it meant to teach me to slow down?

Choices.

As with other huge decisions, I have and will continue to pray about it.  I do believe that God is a God who heals.  I know that He will give to me grace to see me through until such time as the healing is complete.

I also know that I have room for growth.  Sometimes it just seems to be too much and I feel like I have been thrown  two steps backward.  Other times, I have a ‘bring it on’ mentality.   Maybe that is part of the plan – bringing those two sides into some sort of balance.

I wonder, what do other people do who have Eustachian tube dysfunction?

I am so ready for the ringing to stop.  Now ppppllllleeeeaaassseeee!  Please?  Pretty please??

I am waiting.

I am waiting?

Yes, this is why I blog.  Thank you God.

“I’m waiting.  I’m waiting on You Lord, and I am hopeful.  I’m waiting on You Lord, though it is painful but patiently  I -  will -  wait.…”

If you have a moment – listen to this  song.  (It isn’t just about the movie or marriage.  It is about life!)

Ahhh,  God has spoken once again to me through music.  I will wait!

You will need to click on the link to go to YouTube to watch it but it is worth the time.

Is there something that you are waiting for?  While you wait – keep running the race.  You can move ahead bold and confident as you take every step in obedience!!  God is worthy of trust!

til next time

february 6, 2011

This week I found myself in the nursery for both services.   That makes it a bit difficult to do sermon notes.

However, there are two lists that have come across my desk recently.

Grab your Bible, as I won’t be posting all of the scriptures.  I  feel that it is important to look the scriptures up in your own Bible –  to stay familiar with the love letter that God has given to us.  (If you don’t have a Bible let me know.)

The first list has to do with our mental outlook!

6 STEPS TO STAYING POSITIVE!

1.  Start the day with faith – read Psalms 5:3

What comes out of your mouth?  David and Goliath — all the others were saying –just too big, I can’t kill him.    David was saying –He’s too big I just can’t miss!.

2. Look for good in the situations – read  Romans 8:28

3 Give our problems to God – read  2 Corinthians 1:8-11

4. Eliminate negative words  – read  Ephesians 4:29

5. Associate with positive people  – read 1 Corinthians 15:33

Paul was an optimist.  Philippians 1:20   When  we expect the best we honor God.

6. Remember your future -read Ephesians 3:20

The second list has to do with how we handle our money.

Financial difficulties?

Want to be debt free?  Lucy Swindoll from Women of Faith shares her 12 steps to getting out of debt and staying out!

1.  Tithe on the gross

2.  Live within your means

3.  Take care of what you have

4.  Wear it out

5.  Do it yourself

6.  Anticipate your needs

7.  Research value, quality, and durability

8.  Make gifts

9.  Shop less

10.  Buy used

11.   Pay cash

12.   Do without

There you have it for this weeks sermon notes.   If you want to check out last weeks – click here.

til next time

nervous

Most of us have had experiences where we were in the right place at just the right time.  For me it was having the right conversation with the right person.

Some people call these moments coincidences.   I don’t.  I believe that God orchestrates these chance meetings/conversations.  He is either in control or He isn’t.  I believe He is!

Last night I was talking with a friend.  She was telling me about the problems she had with her inner ear awhile back.  She said that she couldn’t bend over without having the room begin to spin.  The doctor said it had something to do with her inner ear and gave her exercises to do that would counteract this.

The workings of our inner ear is really quite remarkable.  Such a small area but so vital to balance and our ability to hear.  It also houses the smallest bone in our body – the stirrup.  (If I remember correctly.)

I digress.

This morning I get up to go to work.  To say I was nervous would put it mildly.  I didn’t want a repeat of last week.  There was no guarantee.  (You can read about that challenging day by clicking here.)

Yes, I had been talking to God about it.  A lot, in fact.

Me talking — God silent.

Me listening — God silent.

Still nervous (such a better word than afraid, right?).

Sometimes you just have to do it afraid.

As I am going around opening up shop I am wondering if any moment now it will strike.   Dumb, I know but trying to stay in the truth.

Then the realization  sets in.  My conversation with Joan floods my mind and the light bulb is on.  Yes, God had spoken.  He wasn’t silent.  He had used my friend.

Bending my head over is causing things to be stirred up inside my inner ear.   This sets off a chain reaction that ends in disaster.  I can pin point each instance with a previous head bent over occurrence.

Waa Laa!!

So today I did not use the hand vacuum.  I did not bend my head down.  I did not have an episode.

More importantly, I feel empowered.  Knowledge is powerful.  Thank you God!!

Oh, I still believe that God could instantly heal me or He could continue to use doctors.  Until the healing is complete, He is walking it out with me.

til next time

tested

I would think after my great revelation the other night (click here to read about it) that I would be doing so much better.  My head is back on straight so  whether or not my head is ringing shouldn’t be a big deal.  Right?

Au contraire.

That is the thing about revelations — mine almost always get put through the fire.  Whether it is a brand new revelation or a refresher of one that I have known, it doesn’t matter.  It will be tested.  That, my friend, is a big deal.

What happened?

Wednesday night was a turning point for me.  I know – that I know – that I know that God’s grace will see me through this.  Whether it ever gets better or not – God is there to help me deal with it.  His grace is sufficient for me.

Thursday morning is my day to open the shop.  I get there ready for whatever will come my way.  I have my big girl boots on!  It is going to be a great day!  Attitude makes a difference.

At 7:10  I know that there is a problem.  I try to tell my brain that it is ok.  I am wondering if this new medication was a good idea.  I try to focus on something – anything but at 7:21 (I’ve been there all of 33 minutes) I know I must give in and take the pill.  The pill is an anti-anxiety pill.

The doctor tells me that my brain is confusing the signals from my inner ear.  While there is a real problem going on, my brain registers that there  is a greater risk than there really is.  It sets off an all points bulletin alert that I am in grave danger.

I had waited to long (stupid mistake #1) but I really just didn’t want to take the stupid thing.  After all there was no danger.

I called  Curt.  At first I just wanted him to call me in 10 minutes just to make sure I wasn’t passed out.  (I was the only one in the office until 8:00)  As I was talking to him though, I knew it was bad and asked him to come over.

He was there as fast as lightning.  My hero!    He stayed until others showed up.  I can’t explain what it was like but I know now the horrors of a full blown  anxiety attack.  (Again this is something I sure didn’t have to experience to realize that it is horrible – sigh)

I was feeling better by 8:00 so I stayed at work.  (This was stupid mistake #2 of the day.)  The new medicine the doctor put me on will cause some drowsiness.  The anti-anxiety pill will also cause drowsiness.  Combining them… well let’s just say that by 1:30 that afternoon I wasn’t sure about much.

The realization hit that I really should be in bed.  I sure didn’t want to take another pill for this new attack that was lurking in the shadows  and messing with my brain and heart.

I had to get home and get to bed.  For someone with a highly driven mentality,  this was most frustrating.   However, I wasn’t going to make yet one more mistake.  Knowing your limitations is a healthy thing.

I sure don’t understand why this is happening.  I don’t know when it will be better.   I do know that ‘It is what it is’.  I will continue to trust God, knowing He has a reason and a plan.   I will continue to pray for grace to see me through until the healing is complete.

I love this song.  If you have time, listen to it.

Give me Jesus

“When my head starts to ring, when my head starts to ring, when my head starts to ring give me Jesus.  Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have all this world just give me Jesus.”

Whatever you are facing — God is so very much bigger.  He has a plan.  Trust Him!  Hold on to Him.  He will see you through.  You are not alone.

So this morning I go head back to work wearing my big girl boots.  It’s gonna be a great day.  Why?  Because God is still God!

til next time

will the buzzing stop?

So tonight I was thinking what if it never gets better? Then what?  Generally this is not a good game to play.  The game of ‘what if’.  However, tonight it resulted in  a turning point.

It has been over a month now that I have been dealing with this high-pitched ringing in my head.  Sometimes it sounds kind of like a vacuum cleaner.  Lately it has been this very high-pitched buzzing noise.

Last night it was extremely loud.  It pretty much consumed me.

So what to do?  I got on-line and googled my symptoms again.  This time I did a very in depth search. Big mistake!

If you want to have the bee geebers scared out of you, forget scary movies,  just put any symptoms you are currently dealing with into a google search.  It is frightening.  It will be a long time before I do that again.   Eeeck!

Oh the things that could be going on.

Then as if that wasn’t enough, it  dawned on me that when I went to the doctor the first time I had told him that I  had been dealing with this for about a week and a half.  I grabbed my December calendar (physical therapy has been asking me if I had done anything different….)  Well, 10 days before my appointment with the doctor I had been to the chiro.  Everything was out of whack including my neck.    Can it have anything to do with this?

So I googled that too.  Big mistake.  Do you know what can happen to you when you have your neck ‘cracked’?  I wish I didn’t know.

I mentioned my chiro visit  to my doctor today  and asked him if that could be causing the ringing?  He raised an eyebrow and didn’t give me an answer.  Hmmmm.

Instead, he gave me one more prescription to speed up the process.  He is convinced that I have what’s called  eustachian tube dysfunction.  He is confident that it will go away.  Physical therapy is helping.  So I will continue with that.

I have actually had time where there was no ringing.  It was wonderful.   Background noise is so over rated.

However, it has not lasted.   Occasionally I have light-headedness also.  There are times I truly think I am going to go off the deep end.  The doctor gave me medication for that too.

This is by far the hardest thing I have ever faced.  The realization of that truth tonight has helped me turn the corner.   What if it doesn’t get better?  What if this is as good as it gets?

I have begged God.  I have laid it at His feet.  I’ve quoted scripture.  I have tried to make a deal with Him.  This last one I am sure was quite funny to God.

What if this is my cross to bear?  What if, for reasons only God can know, this is exactly how it is to be right now?

Wait, that’s it.

Ah …yes…  there is my faith again.

This did not take God by surprise.  He was not off on vacation and just got back to find me in this horrible place.  No, He has been there all along.  Somehow, someway,  (again for reasons only God can know right now) this is what it is.  Yes,  IT IS WHAT IT IS!!!

How have I forgotten that?

It is what it is.

I can’t change it — no matter how much I desire it to change.  On my own I can’t even change the way I deal with it.  I can let God help me change the way I deal with it.

I am grateful to all who have prayed for me.  I asked for prayer tonight at Bible study.  I asked for healing and for the grace needed to deal with this until the healing is complete.

God will give me grace.  He will see me through this trial.    That is what He does.  I will come through it a better person because now my eyes and ears are once again focused on God and not the distraction that is going on in my head.

Will it be easy?  No.  Please keep praying.

til next time