everything has a story
This week-end my son had his senior recital. Getting to this point was no easy thing for him. If I were to list all of the various road blocks that he has faced you would quite possibly think that I was making some of them up. It is no wonder that many music majors never finish.
His recital was mostly classical numbers. This was a switch from the style I was used to hearing him play. Yet it really showed his level of ability. He ended with a couple of jazz numbers. It was phenomenal!!!
Getting to his recital was challenging for us. As ministers, taking a week-end off requires advance preparation. When the date was set we made the necessary arrangements but ……….. (yes there is a story).
I have been known to tell people that I would like to experience what “uneventful” is like — to be able to tell this story — “We made the necessary arrangements. We went. It was wonderful. We came home. Praise God!”
It seems that everything in my life has a story behind it. I used to wonder why and then I realized that God is the greatest story-teller and that many of His stories seemed to be filled with great detail — quite eventful. Why should mine be any different?
As our story seems to go, plans changed. We found out our worship leader and piano player were not going to be there after all. One by one our options for music fell through. A little over a week before we were to leave and still we had no one for music. Three days later we found out that we would also need to make arrangements in other areas that we thought were covered.
This was not going to be that uneventful story. Maybe next time?
Why do some things happen?
Some things happen because the enemy of our souls is doing all he can to discourage us and push us to quit. I also think that God allows some things to happen so that we grow in our trust in Him. Another reason some things are allowed is because then we have no doubt that God came through in a huge way because it has God written all over it. Finally, some things happen because we are then forced to make necessary changes in how we do things.
Changes …………… One thing that we are doing different now is how we do our trips back home. Our trips used to involve a lot of van time as we tried to see everyone. Now we do a pool party at the hotel and anyone that can make it is welcome. Sometimes things happen to force a needed change.
I can see this hotel change really being a good thing. Here we are playing a ‘friendly’ game of UNO the night before the recital.
When all is said and done, we were able to find someone to cover music and the other necessary arrangements. God came through in a huge way. 
The recital was fantastic. I am soooo proud of you Christopher!!!!!
til next time
20 years
It used to be that the norm was to land a good job and stay there until retirement. You might move around a bit, but eventually you put down roots and buy a house.
My parents bought a house early in their marriage. When it got to be too small, they just added on. When the property next door became available, they purchased it. It was a great place to grow up. My mom lived there until she moved in with my sister.
Things have changed. People move and switch jobs with much more frequency. Many times a job transfer moves them to the next location. Purchasing a house does not mean that you plan to live there until you are old.
For pastor’s — job transfers are the norm. It is a little different though, in that the pastor is the one who determines where the next job will be (of course in line with God’s leading.)
Here is how it usually works.
You become involved in ministry while attending Bible college. Upon graduation you may be put on staff at such church — albeit probably not a paid position. This means that you keep working your ‘other’ job to pay the bills.
Then the norm continues like this:
Senior pastor at a small church — possible need to supplement income. Certainly the spouse will work part-time if not full-time.
Stay there 3-7 years then move to a bit bigger church.
Stay there 3-7 years and move to an even bigger church at which time supplemental income from the pastor will not be needed. However, the spouse may continue to work.
It is not uncommon for pastors to continue this cycle all through their ministry.
What isn’t normal is to have a Pastor start out at a small church and stay there 20 years. 20 years is a long time for a minister to stay when he is just starting his first senior pastorate. Certainly we never thought we would be here this long. After all I was leaving the land of mom and all our extended family was at least 6 hours away. Yet here we are 20 years later.
Didn’t we ever feel the urge to move on? Oh, yes –just never at the same time. We truly believe that when God desires for us to move that He will tell both of us at the same time.
We have been here long enough to see:
the church go from ‘home missions’ status to ‘general council’ status
the children grow up and have children
people grow in their relationship with God
children begin to be musically inclined and then watch that blossom
the church become debt free!!!
our children start and finish at the same school — this is almost unheard of in the ministry
people with discord and/or pride leave and come to us later in sincere apology and humbleness. Love covers a multitude of wrongs!
We have a wonderful group of people who are moving forward for the kingdom of God. It is our privilege to be a part of it. We leave our future in the hands of God. We trust that He will continue to direct us and the church.
til next time
you have stress?
It seems that everyone I talk to is under stress. For some it is one or two really huge things. For others it is a bunch of little things that have piled up on top of each other causing an overwhelming sense of despair. Whatever it is — stress seems to dominate many conversations.
Much stress is a result of poor decisions. Sometimes we make bad decisions and sometimes those around us make bad decisions that causes us stress.
Relationships are a huge source of stress. Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” This is great advice for reducing stress. We cannot control another person, but we do have control over what we say and do.
Family dynamics can be a huge source of stress. Whether it is spouse, children, grandchildren, in-laws, siblings, etc — their actions can have an impact on the whole family. This one, in one way or another, seems to be the most common. Maybe it is because we can choose to step away from friends who stir up strife, but family will always be family.
I consider it one of the highest compliments I can receive when someone implies that they don’t think I have any stress. Now it may take me awhile to process it but the end result is that it is a compliment.
For the record, ministers are not immune from stress. Truth is, they have the ‘usual’ stress that comes with living and then there is the stress involved in ministry.
There is a spiritual battle going on. Ministers lead by example and are right there on the front lines. If the enemy can take out the minister and/or family, he has won a great victory. Much damage is done to the cause of Christ when a minister falls.
So what can you do about stress? Take ownership of your own actions. Whatever is happening to you – you are still responsible for how you handle it.
The Serenity Prayer is a wonderful tool. Use it! Be sure to read the rest of the prayer.
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
Amen.–Reinhold Niebuhr
Truth is stress will always be a part of life. How you handle it will determine if you live stressed out or you live with purpose. Don’t forget – God has a plan and He is in control.
He will work all things out for the good to those who love Him. This is a promise we can depend on. God isn’t stressed about whatever is going on and He wants us to lean on Him and trust Him.
Is it easy? Not always. But it can be done. This is why I consider it a huge compliment when people imply I have no stress.
til next time
2 pound man burger
For Curt’s 50th birthday, Andrew threw down a challenge. 
He had been to this restaurant in Galina that specialized in burgers. None of his friends had managed to eat the king burger — a two pound burger (four 1/2 pound patties) complete with bacon, cheese, lettuce, pickle and fries. Ah, but Andrew had accomplished the mission.
Barely…. as you can see he resorted to playing with what was left of his food. He will tell you that he did eat most of those fries.
This is enough meat to feed a family of four. What am I saying? When we were first married this much meat would have fed our family for four meals.
*shaking my head*
He is slowing down here. Will he make it?
Almost there! All that is left is a couple of bites, some sweet potato fries and that yummy pickle.
Down to the last bite.
Mission accomplished!! Was there ever any doubt?
Throughout the meal the waiter would come and check on us. I don’t think he thought Curt could do it either. When he came to check on us at the end, Curt asked him what was for dessert. I thought the guy was going to fall over until he realized Curt was only joking.
Yes, this was a feast day!!
til next time
life
Here it is Christmas! This year has been a year of change. Some good and some not so good.
Chris and Galina got engaged! We are blessed to have such a wonderful daughter to add to our family. When we were shopping during Black Friday I asked her a couple of times, “Are you sure you aren’t my daughter?” Well truth is she will be officially on May 14th!! Unofficially she already is.
Another big change is that Andrew moved to Minnesota. He is in a cabin on a lake. It is beautiful. He didn’t wait but a day or two before getting the latest addition to our family. Jasmine was just barely able to leave momma when he brought her home to the cabin. She is adorable.
He is still looking for a ‘good’ job. It has been an adjustment for him. It has been an even bigger adjustment for us. I am not a fan of empty nesting.
Curt and I were able to take a few motorcycle trips this past year. Most of them were just really long day trips. It just continues to amaze me the beauty of creation and the joy that comes from being so close to nature. We love to ride!
I am grateful that Andrew was able to make it home for Christmas. It was a long night for us and an even longer night for him. He left after work (10:00 p.m.), took Chris back to his apartment (2 hours away) and then continued on down. He would call his dad every couple hours or so to see what was ahead weather/road wise. It didn’t look good at times. However, by the time he reached the section that was iffy it had improved. He pulled in around 9:30 a.m. One very tired man and one even more tired puppy.
If the weather cooperates Chris and Galina will get to come home also. It has been a long time since they have been here. (Ok 7 months but that is a really really long time) I am so looking forward to spending some time with them.
Well there were sad things that happened this past year but my timer went off and that means supper is ready. Besides my new motto is “IT IS WHAT IT IS” — just trying to stay in the truth and focus on the positive.
Christmas Eve – family traditions. Let the festivities begin.
From my computer to yours Merry Christmas!!!
til next time
when your body doesn’t listen
There are just some things in life I don’t need to experience personally to know it is not a good thing. An anxiety attack is one of those things.
Irrational fear that grips a person, heart rate speeds up or is sporadic, dizziness, light headed, violent shaking and an all over clammy feeling – no I didn’t have to experience that to know that I would not like it.
A few years back, however, I was “privileged” to see what it was like first hand. My experience had to do with breathing - a change in air quality. It was horrible!!
For awhile a change in air pressure was sure to kick off another attack. All the stern talking that I gave myself didn’t seem to matter. My body would just not listen. If my body thought that it was in jeopardy of breathing or trapped, it took over.
I did learn ways to combat this. Immediate prayer being the first thing. Getting outside was also helpful. Forcing my focus onto something else also worked. Eventually just taking a deep breath was all it took.
It’s been quite awhile since I’ve had a full blown episode. In fact, I thought I was all over that now. A season in my life that was over. Oh what a relief!
This Thanksgiving we were at my sister-in-laws. There were 15 of us. Right before lunch I went to the restroom. Upon locking the door I realized that something wasn’t quite right. I found myself unable to unlock the door.
Now this really shouldn’t have been a big deal. There were 14 other people right outside the door. The body is an amazing thing. If it senses danger it goes on full alert. It really didn’t matter that there was no ‘danger’.
I began pounding on the door. Curt heard me and I knew that he would rescue me. I heard them at the door and figured all was well.
Meanwhile, I went in there for a reason. All the adrenaline was not helping. I finished the task at hand, washed my hands, took a few deep breaths to calm the few remaining anxiety nerves and reached for the door handle. It was still locked!!
At this point all rational reasoning went out the window. I am sure that it was only moments – that is what Curt tells me. However, it seemed like an eternity.
I had a few choice comments for Curt. I couldn’t believe that he had not made sure that the door was unlocked after the first cry for help. In his defense, he saw the door open a bit and did not realize that it locked again when it was closed.
Upon my freedom I promptly went outside. Wide open spaces were a welcome relief. It was all I could do to go back inside.
So what it is that causes the body to respond in such a way? It makes no sense at all to me. I spent much of the meal trying to get my body to calm back down. I can’t really explain what it felt like, but it took all my focus to sit there.
As I reflect back on that day I am filled with questions. Questions that have no answers.
I only know that this experience is one I hope to never repeat.
Just a glimpse into what my fishbowl was like on Thanksgiving. There is always next year.
til next time
i.i.w.i.i.
Empty nesting is all I thought it would be and so much more. If I stopped right there … maybe I should just stop right there?
My mother keeps telling me every time I talk to her, “You wouldn’t want them lying around all day doing nothing.” She is right, but there is a difference between moving out — say to an apartment in the next town — and moving 6 hours (Chris) or 8 hours (Andrew) away.
We had the opportunity to take some of Andrew’s things (motorcycle, car, food, etc) up to him this past week. I have decided that I am NOT driving through Minneapolis, during anything remotely close to rush hour traffic, ever again.
What I can’t ignore is the biggest grin on my son’s face. Here he is in his element.
Yes, this is the latest addition to our family. I am now a ‘grandma’ 
Jasmine is just a little over 9 weeks old.
The view is just gorgeous -even though it rained most of the time we were there. I certainly can see the attraction of a cabin on a lake.
Chris and Galina were able to come up for the week-end. I am blessed to have her as my daughter. Ok the wedding isn’t until May but as far as I am concerned she is my daughter.
Having us all together was great!
This is the beginning of a new season of life. i.i.w.i.i is my new slogan. It is what it is. A big part of frustration is not accepting truth or trying to make it be something it isn’t. i.i.w.i.i. brings me back to reality. It stops me from spinning around in the circles. It reminds me that God is in control.
Many people have hinted at our moving to MN now that our kids are both there. While I would love to be close to them, I really have no desire to live in MN. It is cold too much of the year and way more snow than I like.
Chris and Galina are talking about Florida in a couple years. Andrew has not abandoned the possibility of border patrol. Only God knows what the future holds. As for Curt and I, when God is ready to move us He will let us know.
So for all of you that are wondering — Yes, my heart aches. I miss my boys. I miss being a part of their daily lives. This is uncharted territory for me. Some days I handle it better than others. Yet I do know that one day my heart and my head will be on the same page. In the meantime God’s grace is sufficient as our fish bowl changes.
til next time
moving day
Moving day — excitement and sadness all mixed up together.
It was harder than I imagined and I had expected it to be quite difficult.
I am so grateful that I didn’t face this alone. I thought of my mother and how she had to face my move by herself (my father had died just 3 short months before my move.)
The morning of Andrew’s move we met for breakfast with our long time family friends. Our kids have grown up together and are pretty much like siblings. Megan is the closest thing to a sister the boys have.
When we moved to Iowa, I met Julie at my first job. It was one of those God moments. Some people walk into our lives and we are forever changed. I told Megan the other day that everyone should have a ‘Julie’ in their life.
When we all got together before Chris moved Andrew had to work and so he couldn’t be there. This time Chris couldn’t be there. Times are changing.
So many memories – so many different things to laugh about and all the inside jokes.
Here is one of my favorite photos of the four of them. It was at Meg’s graduation.
I miss those days. I still find myself forgetting to turn the kitchen light off when I go to bed. (Last one in shut the kitchen light off and turned the night light on – usually that ended up being Andrew.)
I’ve been given much grief over the years about my apron strings. Truth is that our boys had a lot of freedom growing up. Apron strings — not so much. Involved and taking an active role in their lives as they grew up — yes very much guilty of that.
It could have been harder. Since they are twins they both could have left at the same time. I am grateful that did not happen. God does know what we can handle.
I know that it is a good thing and this is the way it is meant to be. I know that this is part of life. Yet what I know and what I feel just can’t seem to get on the same page.
til next time
About
Welcome to my fish bowl!
Things that matter to me are: God, family, friends, helping people, taking time to really live in the moment, and trying to slow down in a fast paced world.
To find out more click here.
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