Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

Loving those who make life difficult.

In my role as a Pastor’s wife there have been opportunities for me to grow in how I handle people who set out to make my life difficult.  Living life in this fishbowl means others are watching and like it or not, as a Pastor’s wife I am setting an example.  Hopefully, most of the time, a good one 🙂

It’s easy for me to love those who love me back.  But what about those who set out to make my life difficult?  

I don’t believe that “Christians” set out to intentionally hurt another, but instead some become misguided – by listening to half truths or out right lies.   There are others who can’t see past the pain in their own eyes and are prone to believe any lie that makes someone else look bad and if it makes them look good in the process, so much the better.  Others respond out of jealousy. There are also people who just will not be satisfied unless things are going their way – “their way or the highway”.  

 I’ve heard it said that you should keep your friends close and your enemies even closer.  The problem with this thinking is that people are not our enemies.  

I mentioned in one of my blogs that there have been times as a Pastor’s wife that “I didn’t think I could possibly hurt anymore and still live”.  It has been an eye opening experience for me – this journey of a Pastor’s wife.  How people can call themselves “Christian” and be so full of hatred. 

At one point I remember telling Curt that I was done.  Not one more person was going to be so close to me that they could “stab me in the back.”  Like David, in the Psalms, I had experienced yet another betrayal of a close friend — one I had prayed with, worked with, poured my heart into, ect.  (Or for a New Testament reference – A Judas kiss.)

However, bitterness and unforgiveness travels on the heals of this line of thinking.  Another problem is, you isolate yourself and then miss out on the support and the care of others.  Looking to Jesus, as my example, I see that He treated Judas no different, even though He knew what Judas was to do.  

We are a hugging church and I remember one Sunday seeing this woman walk in who had worked very hard at making my life difficult.  My first thought from the piano was “Lord, why did you allow her to waltz back here?”  followed by thinking “She has a lot of nerve.” 

Good thing it was a lengthy worship service 🙂  There were a few things God needed to do in me.   He showed me that I had a choice, to allow my heart to become as hard as stone or to keep my heart pliable in His hands.  I chose pliable. 

He then opened my eyes just a bit so I could begin to see people as He sees them.   Then the greatest thing began to happen.  I could feel His love flowing through me.  This was and is life changing for me.

When church was over and I greeted her, I was able to genuinely hug her.  I now saw a wounded person who so badly needed the unconditional love of God.

Proverbs tells us “Above all else to guard our heart….”   When someone  has treated me wrongly, loving them does not mean they must become my new best friend.   It does mean to be kind even when they are not.  To treat them decently, even if they don’t treat me decent.  I have purposed in my heart  to love those people who work at making my life difficult.   To see them through the eyes of God.

til next time


June 29, 2008 - Posted by | living in a fish bowl, Pastor's wife, relationships | ,


  1. Not meaning to be one of those making your life more difficult, but I noticed something in your “about” section that you might not have noticed that you may wish to fix if you can: “…and trying to slow down in a ‘face’ paced world”???? Me thinks that might have been a typo.

    That letting go and letting God and allowing yourself to see the person beyond the transgression is a whole lot easier said than done, but just imagine what a difference it could make if we all were able to bring ourselves to do that in every situation where we should. Grudges are so hard not to nurse and it really does require a lot of humbling to do so, but oh the things that God can do through the genuine attempt.

    It reminds me of a very good quote I’ve seen. “Be kinder than necessary because you never know what all the other person is going through.”

    Comment by LisaB | June 29, 2008 | Reply

  2. Lisa, nope I hadn’t noticed that. In fact I know that I read it over a few times and never caught it. Thanks.

    Your comments reminded me of a story I heard. 2 women in church, both envious of each other. The first one looks at the woman with the great hair style, manicured nails, and trendy clothes and would trade places with her. However, the other one sees the first woman’s kids and loving husband and would trade places in a heart beat. Yet both are sitting there wishing to be the other. We really don’t know what another person is going through or what pain they may be in. Kindness is a valuable thing.

    Comment by Gloria | June 30, 2008 | Reply

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