Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.


Today is the opener for the movie “Fireproof”.       Fireproof is all about a fireman and his wife who are on the verge of divorce.  I really don’t like movies that make me cry.  Yet I couldn’t help but cry.  Marriage goes through stages and they were in a very selfish stage.  I don’t want to give away the movie.  Go see it and let me know what you think.

It did make me think about marriage.  I absolutely loved Curt when we got married.  I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.   — Looking back I really had no idea what that  meant.   Marriage has so many facets to it.  My love for Curt now is so much deeper and so very much more than a feeling.  Feelings can deceive us.  Feelings can be very selfish.  Paying attention to what I feel puts my focus on me and not on the man I have chosen for better or worse.   Love is action.

So early in our marriage I went to 1 Cor 13 the Love chapter.  Love is: patient.  Did I really need to go any farther until I got that one down?  I could be so patient with friends, co-workers, people I want to impress, but patient with the one I am married to??   So ok I work on that one, not to perfection but better. 

Next – Love is Kind.  Kind??  Love is kind – period. 

The next couple I really didn’t have issues with.  Then comes love does not behave rudely.  Does this have anything to do with the way I talk to him?  Yes, it has everything to do with that.  Words, tone, and timing.  There is power in what we say.  Love builds up — not tears down.  This is so important.  From the beginning I recognized the importance of not tearing down my husband in public or in private.  Both places are equally important.  Yet, I would find myself taking my frustrations out on him.  Love is not rude.  Changes needed to occur.  Love in action needed to grow.

Over the years I have talked with many women who are in all stages of married life.  Yet my advice basically remains the same.  Marry the one you love, then love the one you marry.  One of my favorite lines in the movie is “you have to lead your heart”.  Do not let feelings lead you, but take control of your heart.  Make choices that are based on truth not emotions.  Lead your heart.   Love is so much more than a feeling.  When it becomes an action, a decision that we make, that we will be patient, kind, not self seeking, not rude……… oh then the feeling that comes along is sooooo much deeper than it ever was at the beginning.

til next time


September 26, 2008 - Posted by | living in a fish bowl, Pastor's wife, relationships, spiritual reflections | , ,

1 Comment »

  1. Wanted to pass on the comment my friend Ruthie posted in Facebook concerning this post.

    “My biggest struggle with the I Cor 13 love has been “does not keep a record of wrongs.” My elephant memory can be blessing or a curse.”

    I am glad that she brought that up, because holding things done in the past over our mates head is a real issue. It is also an area that we can get stuck in.

    Comment by Gloria | September 28, 2008 | Reply

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