Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

what to do when a pastors wife needs a pastors wife?

Today was one of those days when I sure would have liked to ask my pastor’s wife for just a bit of her time.  So what do you do when you are the pastor’s wife?  Ever tried to ask yourself for advice??  If you have then you know it is not a good idea.  How about asking yourself for a shoulder to cry on?  Ah, no, it is just not going to work.     

Oh sure, I could pick up the phone and call one of my friends in ministry, but let’s be real, talking on the phone is not the same as face to face.  I’ve been down this road before.  I know that there are times that life in ministry is a lonely road. 

From conversations that I have had with other pastor’s wives –  it is while on this road that some have left full time ministry.  It is on this road that some have fallen into depression.  And also on this road problems may surface between husband and wife.   

I know that all of the above is not a part of God’s plan.  So I did what I have done in the past.  I went off by myself to a quiet place and met with God.  I had only one question for Him today.  What do you want from me?  That was it.  I waited.

The answer came ever so quietly.  I want you to spend time with Me. That was it.  No big fanfare, no big grandiose plan, no list of a hundred things to do at the church, etc.   What is needed to get me through this particular season is spending more time at the feet of Jesus.  It does seem to go right along with my last blog (click here to read it)   John 3:30 “He must increase, but I must decrease.”   That can only happen as we spend more time with Him.    

So what do other pastor’s wives do when they need a pastor’s wife?  I’d love to have feed back.  I do know it is a problem.  I know one lady has a second blog under an alias (so no one -not even her husband will know it is her) that she uses for the soul purpose of venting.   I shall stick with going to a quiet place.

In this song Kathy Troccoli sings “…. my soul aches, help me God….in this dark hour I know only the power that made the stars, can mend my heart….help me to hold on, though I can’t see You, I believe You’re there…

 til next time

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November 2, 2008 - Posted by | just thinking about stuff, living in a fish bowl, Pastor's wife | , , ,

7 Comments »

  1. At least you have God. What do people do who will not turn to Him in their time of trouble?

    Comment by cgirod | November 2, 2008 | Reply

  2. Curt, I hope that all pastor’s wives have a relationship with God and turn to Him. Sad to say but I know that isn’t the case. Some are bitter and angry and have allowed the wounds to penetrate deeply. God hasn’t moved – they have.

    It’s just really nice when God uses people to be His hand extended. A pastor’s wife is just that. Which puts me right back where I started. What to do when a pastor’s wife needs a pastor’s wife??

    As for those who don’t know the peace, love and hope that is in God – may we do our part to let them see Jesus in us. Again a humbling privilege to be His hand extended.

    Comment by Gloria | November 4, 2008 | Reply

  3. I asked myself that very question – many times !
    My brother is also a pastor and my sister in law and I often share stories, struggles…it’s been helpful to turn to someone who’s trustworthy and know what I’m going through.
    And yet the best place where I find comfort and understanding is at Jesus’ feet.

    “Where Does My Help Come from?
    My Help Comes From The Lord
    Maker Of Heaven And Earth”

    Comment by Lénou | November 6, 2008 | Reply

  4. I feel your pain, my friend! On a practical level, here’s some things I do –

    1. Every year I plan a retreat to the campground for at least two days of doing nothing and talking to no one – no phone, no lights, no motor cars…not a single luxury. This helps keep me focused and gives me time to enjoy nature and re-energize.

    2. I try to attend as many District/sectional functions as is reasonable. Not so much for the function itself but for the contacts that are made…granted, I may not see these people or hear from them until the next thing but having that human “peer-to-peer” contact is helpful. Any every once in a while I do make a connection with someone special who will volunteer to meet me for a “Monk Marathon.” Maybe, one day, we’ll do it!

    3. I journal…and then hide it! Ha Ha

    4. I have prayed for many years for a mentor type friend in my area that I could rely on in these times…a relationship that just happens naturally. I am sorry to say that I haven’t really found that person just yet…at least if I have I haven’t recognized her.

    5. I have an email buddy who is older than me whom I can pour things out to. She lives a few states away but is always quick on the return.

    6. I often retreat to the solace of a book…my books are some of my best friends.

    7. I try to keep a few “healthy” women in my circle at all times. Sometimes it just gets exhausting when every phone call, every lunch, etc is from someone needing to pour their pain all over you. I have a friend who I call sometimes and just say, “I need a healthy friend today. Want to do lunch?” I do wish I had another pastor’s wife to do this with, though. There are unique things that we deal with that only someone else in our shoes understands.

    This post is getting too long…maybe I’ll have to put this in my “blog ideas” file. LOL

    Comment by Ruthie Oberg | November 12, 2008 | Reply

  5. Ohhh…I forgot to add MUSIC! I think Kathy Troccoli might be one of my best friends…and she doesn’t even know me!

    Comment by Ruthie Oberg | November 12, 2008 | Reply

  6. Lenou, I love that verse. Wish we lived closer, not even same continent 😦 yea for internet 🙂

    Ruthie, great ideas. Hope you decide to blog on it, would love to read more. Oh and I think we need to plan a monk marathon. 🙂
    Kathy was singing at a conference I went to a few years back. I really liked her music before that -then after she shared her heart I was really hooked.

    Comment by Gloria | November 12, 2008 | Reply

  7. My women’s class at church is doing the study with Kathy and Dee Brestin “Falling in Love with Jesus.” They approach it from a single (Kathy) and a married (Dee) woman perspective and emphasize how only intimacy with our Creator fills the longing within each woman’s heart.

    Comment by Ruthie Oberg | November 13, 2008 | Reply


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