Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

spin cycle

My thoughts are spinning around in my head like a spin cycle that has gotten off track.   When my washer gets out of balance it sounds like it is about to go through the floor.  It tends to knock things around also.  Yes, my thought pattern seems to be pretty close to a spin cycle gone wrong.

That’s where blogging comes in.  It makes me take time to either redirect my thoughts or just get them out there so that I will have room for more.   In keeping with the whole washing machine analogy, it is similar to what happens when you cram the washer way too full.   It doesn’t do what it is intended to do.

In the last 30 days I have dealt with my mother’s issues of health and placement, my son has gotten married (out-of-state), we have been short-handed at work, organized a wedding reception here, dealing with pre menopause  issues, and moved my mother (from out-of-state)  to an assisted living facility in our town.   All of this while trying to work two jobs and stay on top of things at home.  

Then I had someone say to me the other day “You just aren’t your normal jolly self.”

I just smiled.   I won’t share what I was thinking except that it started out with “Ya think??” 

Although even as I write that, God gently reminds me that my joy is in Him and not dependent upon things running smoothly.  I didn’t handle things perfectly but through it all there was only one time that I said something that now I must apologize for. 

One of my mottos for life is that I will not say or do something that I will feel the need to apologize for later.   It really is helpful when I find myself in stressful situations to remember this motto.    In the case I am referring to, it wasn’t what I said but how I said it.  *heavy sigh*  That is material for another blog.

On our trip to drop off Chris and Galina and pick up my mom, we were blessed to see a double rainbow.  It was amazing.

It stayed for quite a while. 

Both ends were visible.  Very rarely do I have the privilege of seeing both ends.  God was making sure that I got the message.  His promises are true. 

God knows the future.  He has us in the palm of His hand.  Sometimes it is hard to see His hand.  This is where trust comes in.  As the song goes, “when you can’t see His hand, trust His heart.”

As I flipped up June’s calendar I was overwhelmed.   This morning it dawned on me that I am in charge of my calendar.  (Why must I keep learning this particular lesson?)  Sure there are things that God intends for me to do.  There are many other ‘good’ things that want my attention.  Wisdom is knowing when to do what. 

I know that if a washing machine continues to spin out of control damage is done.  Sometimes an overhaul is needed.  Sometimes just removing a few things causes it to return to normal function.  One thing is for sure, it was not meant to be stuffed to overflowing nor to be filled unequally.  So it is with my life, stuffed with way too much or living too long without the balance of rest and relaxation causes stress on the body.   My down time has been sorely lacking.

This whole thing with my mother has changed me.  I have only scratched the surface of that change.   When she didn’t want to come down here, I told her we are going on an adventure.  I repeated this several times.    I am sure I will repeat it many more times. 

Yes, blogging is very helpful to me.  Now I have room for some new thoughts.  Hmmm, I wonder what is in store for today?

til next time

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June 2, 2010 - Posted by | menopause, relationships, spiritual reflections | , , , , , , , , , , ,

3 Comments »

  1. Remember that the rainbows came after the storm.

    Comment by Pastor Curt | June 3, 2010 | Reply

  2. I don’t know of anybody who enjoys being overloaded, burning the candle at both ends and from the middle out. I think you’d have to be a glutton for punishment to actually have the attitude of “Thank you sir, can I have some more?” in times like that. I wonder sometimes though, if part of the reason God allows us to get ourselves into such a state is because there may be so much that He is trying to do in us, with us, and through us at those times (kind of like the refining fire thing).

    He’s showing us and others during those times just how imperfect we really are, that we are NOT invincible, nor omniscient, but He is and He loves us anyway.

    At those times He’s showing others we don’t have to be perfect to believe in Him or to go to Him. He shows them that we don’t even have to do everything right for Him to accept us and work through us. We don’t have to have it all together to be of value to him and others.

    At those times He’s giving us just a small taste of what He willingly gave up for us and took on for us at that cross. We think just bearing our load at those times is unbearable. I don’t even want to think of what it would be like to bear a world’s worth for generations!

    At those times we may either feel His holy presence more closely than ever and can take comfort in it or we might not be able to sense Him there at all, but odds are, if we don’t give up, when we get beyond it to a point where we can look back we’ll be able to see His fingerprints all over the situation where He was helping us through it.

    Sometimes we get a little big for our proverbial britches and He uses those times as a means to humble us, to help us to realize we aren’t necessarily as much better than another as we may like to think or maybe we were a little flippant and judgmental with that person when we should’ve been compassionate and understanding.

    Sometimes I think He uses those times to prepare us to help another we would’ve otherwise been flippant and judgmental with except that, because of the trial by fire, we are more aware that we might NOT know the half of what’s going on in that person’s situation and maybe we are still wincing from what we went through in a portion of our own situation that was similar to what they’re going through. As much as we hate it, struggle and pain can be a great teacher and motivator and while misery loving company isn’t always a good thing it can sometimes aid in understanding and compassion.

    Sometimes I think He uses those kinds of situations to remind us of just how strong we are when we think we aren’t strong at all and shows us how far we’ve really come when it seems like we haven’t gotten anywhere in our walk.

    Sometimes I think He uses those times to remind us how far we have to go if we’re getting a little full of ourselves and how far we could slide if we aren’t careful. For all we know, He may be reminding or showing somebody else around us things like that through our situation. After all, the world doesn’t revolve around any of us specifically. Why does everything we go through have to be about us, for us, to spite us, etc.?

    Maybe sometimes when we’re going through trials like that He’s trying to set up another miracle to amaze us with. Maybe sometimes He’s using them to remind us of the every day miracles we may have grown used to and are taking for granted. Maybe we just aren’t recognizing some of the miracles before us as the miracles they are during some of those overwhelming moments.

    I don’t know. I’m not God. I just know that it seems like those kind of trials seem to last way too long for our liking when we or somebody we know is going through them and even though we’re promised that He will never leave us nor forsake us, it’s SOOO nice when there can be an opportunity of relief from them. Hope your relief opportunity comes soon.

    Comment by LisaB | June 3, 2010 | Reply

    • good thoughts Lisa!

      Comment by Gloria | June 3, 2010 | Reply


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