Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

tested

I would think after my great revelation the other night (click here to read about it) that I would be doing so much better.  My head is back on straight so  whether or not my head is ringing shouldn’t be a big deal.  Right?

Au contraire.

That is the thing about revelations — mine almost always get put through the fire.  Whether it is a brand new revelation or a refresher of one that I have known, it doesn’t matter.  It will be tested.  That, my friend, is a big deal.

What happened?

Wednesday night was a turning point for me.  I know – that I know – that I know that God’s grace will see me through this.  Whether it ever gets better or not – God is there to help me deal with it.  His grace is sufficient for me.

Thursday morning is my day to open the shop.  I get there ready for whatever will come my way.  I have my big girl boots on!  It is going to be a great day!  Attitude makes a difference.

At 7:10  I know that there is a problem.  I try to tell my brain that it is ok.  I am wondering if this new medication was a good idea.  I try to focus on something – anything but at 7:21 (I’ve been there all of 33 minutes) I know I must give in and take the pill.  The pill is an anti-anxiety pill.

The doctor tells me that my brain is confusing the signals from my inner ear.  While there is a real problem going on, my brain registers that there  is a greater risk than there really is.  It sets off an all points bulletin alert that I am in grave danger.

I had waited to long (stupid mistake #1) but I really just didn’t want to take the stupid thing.  After all there was no danger.

I called  Curt.  At first I just wanted him to call me in 10 minutes just to make sure I wasn’t passed out.  (I was the only one in the office until 8:00)  As I was talking to him though, I knew it was bad and asked him to come over.

He was there as fast as lightning.  My hero!    He stayed until others showed up.  I can’t explain what it was like but I know now the horrors of a full blown  anxiety attack.  (Again this is something I sure didn’t have to experience to realize that it is horrible – sigh)

I was feeling better by 8:00 so I stayed at work.  (This was stupid mistake #2 of the day.)  The new medicine the doctor put me on will cause some drowsiness.  The anti-anxiety pill will also cause drowsiness.  Combining them… well let’s just say that by 1:30 that afternoon I wasn’t sure about much.

The realization hit that I really should be in bed.  I sure didn’t want to take another pill for this new attack that was lurking in the shadows  and messing with my brain and heart.

I had to get home and get to bed.  For someone with a highly driven mentality,  this was most frustrating.   However, I wasn’t going to make yet one more mistake.  Knowing your limitations is a healthy thing.

I sure don’t understand why this is happening.  I don’t know when it will be better.   I do know that ‘It is what it is’.  I will continue to trust God, knowing He has a reason and a plan.   I will continue to pray for grace to see me through until the healing is complete.

I love this song.  If you have time, listen to it.

Give me Jesus

“When my head starts to ring, when my head starts to ring, when my head starts to ring give me Jesus.  Give me Jesus, give me Jesus, you can have all this world just give me Jesus.”

Whatever you are facing — God is so very much bigger.  He has a plan.  Trust Him!  Hold on to Him.  He will see you through.  You are not alone.

So this morning I go head back to work wearing my big girl boots.  It’s gonna be a great day.  Why?  Because God is still God!

til next time

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January 24, 2011 - Posted by | just thinking about stuff, Pastor's wife | , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Comments »

  1. God will be with you every step of the way. May you know that with your head and feel it in your heart.

    Comment by Pastor Curt | January 27, 2011 | Reply

  2. […] This morning I get up to go to work.  To say I was nervous would put it mildly.  I didn’t want a repeat of last week.  There was no guarantee.  (You can read about that challenging day by clicking here.) […]

    Pingback by nervous « Living Life in a Fish Bowl! | January 27, 2011 | Reply

  3. Hey sweet friend!!! You are THE MOST honest,genuine,spirit filled person i know, and it is so enlightening to hear you TELL it like it is, but you still KNOW GOD and WALK with GOD …ALL THE WAY!! Things happen to us that we don’t know what to do, but to go to God, no matter how long it takes for the answer….believing ALL THE TIME that HE cares for us and can and will do all HE can to help us solve the problems that come up. YOU are RIGHT ON in all you said, like It IS WHAT IT IS!!! All through anything, we learn to draw closer to our Master, and others that LOVE you want to pray for you. See there, your problem caused us to want to pray!!!! I just LOVE you and Curt vey much!!!!…..pat

    Comment by pat k | January 27, 2011 | Reply

    • Thank you Pat. Your words are a breath of fresh air to me this morning. It about made me cry — good tears. Drawing closer to our Master is where I always want to be headed. I love you!!!!

      Comment by Gloria | January 28, 2011 | Reply


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