Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

to go or not to go

Decision making

Some decisions are so easy it almost doesn’t feel like you have to make a decision.   Some decisions are aided by circumstances.  While these may not always be pleasant, they are not difficult to make.  Other decisions are made easy by thinking through the consequences of the decision.

I had to make a decision  yesterday that was much more difficult.

My mom’s birthday is today.   mom and me

Our bi-vocational lifestyle tends to have us taking it one day at a time.  This is a good thing, but it leaves little room for spontaneity.  We pretty much have to plan weeks ahead if we are going to be gone.

Earlier in the week I realized that we actually could arrange it so that we could  make the trip to spend my mom’s birthday with her today.  It is a 6 1/2  hour drive (maybe longer depending on how many stops) so we would get to the hotel sometime Friday, visit a bit with mom Friday night, then see her for about 5 -6  hours on Saturday before heading back home.

The problem?  When we make a trip to see mom we try to at least do a 2 night stay.  It is a costly trip (both financially and physically) so to do it in just an overnight is more difficult.   Driving home late Saturday night and then getting to the church at 8:00 Sunday morning is not a good combination.  We have learned this the hard way.

mom and IBut it is my mom’s birthday.  I miss my mom.

My mom has dementia.  She will know at the time that I am not there, but she won’t remember who was there later on tonight.  However, I will know.

Friday morning came.  Friday is our day off, our sabbath rest.  We guard it carefully as it is vital in being bi-vocational for the long haul.   Do we pack up and go?

Man, I hate hard decisions.

This is one of those times where I would like to know the future.  In going – how would that affect the coming week? I am already pushing the overload button.   But in not going, will I regret that?   Will mom lose more of her memory before I see her again?  Should I take this opportunity, at whatever cost, to see her again while she still remembers me?  In looking at the calendar it will be weeks, possibly months before we will have an opportunity to see her.  Ugh!!

After praying some more about it, I still didn’t sense a clear direction.   What I did sense was a lack of motivation so I made the decision to not go.   It  helped to know that there would be others there to celebrate with mom.   She would  spend her birthday with family.

I try to live my life in such a way as to not have regret.  Life is too short.

Happy Birthday Mom!  I hope to see you soon!

til next time

As I was finishing up this blog I heard Joyce Meyer say:

“We are anointed by the Holy Spirit for hard.”

Isn’t that the truth!!!

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January 26, 2013 - Posted by | dementia, ministry | , , , , , ,

4 Comments »

  1. Gloria…God knows your every move; your busy schedule, the length of the trip and back, the cost, the busy week ahead starting with Sunday, everything!!! Most of all, He knows your deep love for your mom. You weigh everything through prayer and guidance from the Holy Spirit. Don’t have any regrets for this decision, cause it is made from deep within. Think of her now and on her special day and all the precious times you had when she was your healthy mom. You inspire me to always pray for guidance in everything I do, and it will always be the right one!!! LOVE, pat

    Comment by pat k | January 26, 2013 | Reply

    • Thanks Pat! Your words are an encouragement to me today!! Love you!!!

      Comment by Gloria | January 26, 2013 | Reply

  2. Oh goodness Gloria! I didn’t realize your mom had dementia. I’m so sorry! Both of my grandparents have/had dementia. What a brutal disease, and so hard to walk through. I know exactly what you mean about them not knowing if you’re there for special occasions, but wanting to be there anyway–and how emotionally exhausting it still is to just be there! Praying for you!

    Comment by ericabarthalow | February 27, 2014 | Reply

    • Thank you Erica, I am grateful that mom always knew who I was. Sometimes I had to help her out with the kids but if I said one name she would come up with the other name. Up til the very end she was always singing – how she loved the hymns. She passed away 2 days before her birthday this year. I was blessed to have recorded her singing and quoting scripture – 2 things she never forgot!! In fact, when we didn’t know who was going to sing her favorite song (He set me free) – we decided to have the recording of her singing it played at her funeral. It was perfect. A mom alive with dementia or a mom going on to be with Jesus? Well, I selfishly would take her alive with dementia but I know that she is so much better off and one day we will join her.

      Comment by Gloria | February 28, 2014 | Reply


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