Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

one month later

saying 2

It dawned on me today that it has been one month since I quit my second job.

In  my first week a dear, precious friend of mine went to be with Jesus.  That week was filled with preparations.    Note to self, make the time to run through the song on the organ before the funeral.  There were three keys that did not work that I needed.

That first week and a half was hard.  I didn’t anticipate just how difficult the re-entry would be.  I also did not expect all the demands that would come my way.    Thankful for a dear friend who helped it make sense to me.

Certainly it has not gone according to my original plan.  Yet it has gone according to my plan.  You see, whatever God’s will is for my life is what I choose  (that becomes my plan) and I know that nothing happens without going through Him.  Therefore God has allowed the circumstances for reasons I sure do not understand, but in acceptance lieth peace.

In acceptance lieth peace.  Peace = calm and quiet or the absence of war and strife.  So in acceptance lieth a calm and quiet heart or a heart without war or strife.

Acceptance is not the same as approval. It is the recognition that God is in control and I can trust Him to work all things out for my good and I don’t have to allow frustration, strife, or stress to take over.  All of this is extremely important for me as I deal with the issues that keep coming at me.  

God offers me  peace that goes way beyond my understanding.   A calmness washes over me when I quit struggling to make sense of it all.  Sometimes it just doesn’t make sense, but God is not taken by surprise nor is He on vacation. 

It is what it is and God has it under control.

Vacation came a week after the funeral.

The plan was to spend only two days with family.  The rest of the time was scheduled for much-needed rest and relaxation for both of us.

Again, things did not go as originally planned.

My mom fell on Tuesday.  She was playing kick ball unsupervised with a small child, at the memory unit where she is living.  She fractured her pelvic and was at the ER.

We were closest.  We spent the rest of our vacation going to see mom.  Seeing your mother in such needless extreme pain  was emotionally draining.

This time it took me a bit longer to get to the ‘in acceptance lieth peace’ frame of mind.   Praise God He is an ever-present help in trouble.   (Psalm 46:1)

Later others have said to me that it was good that we were on vacation because we were there and didn’t have to figure out how to get there.  (Hmmm, sounds kind of like Spring Break.)

What they don’t understand is that we would have figured it out.  However, we won’t figure out how to plan another vacation of rest and relaxation this year.  Yes, it took me awhile to get to the acceptance part this time.

It has been quite a first month.

A few things I have dealt with this past month.

pray

Grateful for those who are there giving me encouragement and support and learning how to accept those who aren’t.

With Christ I am stronger than I ever imagined.  When I reached the point where I thought, “God help the next person who asks something of me,”  and yet had God’s strength to carry on and give even more.  Praise God for the power of the anointing!

Guard against being offended.    (Psalm 119:165)  Really?  This again?

Jealousy will change a relationship.  Still haven’t figured out how to fix this.  All I can say is that I would gladly let someone follow me for a week  and then maybe they wouldn’t be  jealous.   Ministry is work.  Work that I love but it comes at a price that many are not willing to pay or even realize there is a price involved.   Yet they  want the ‘glamour’.   Jealousy, you are a wicked companion.

Doctors, social workers, nurses, administrators, policies, and decisions as to what to do next with my mother.  At one point the doctor gave me the option of hospice.  He thought a week.   She was dehydrated.  Therefore her kidneys were failing, oxygen low and she was in extreme pain from the fracture.   Yesterday she was released from the hospital to a nursing home for rehab.  This roller coaster continues…..

One month — what a month.

I look forward with great anticipation to what God has in store.  Getting to this point came with a high price tag but that just makes me know that it was worth it and the best is yet to come!

Proverbs 31:25 (NASB)

25 Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.

til next time

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August 31, 2013 - Posted by | dementia, living in a fish bowl, spiritual reflections | , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 Comments »

  1. And another month is passing . . .
    I do not kinow what lies in the future for you but I *DO* know that no matter what it is, our loving Father God has you in His keeping and will undertake for you, no matter what, and I also know that through whatever happens, He will use opportunities to “grow” you, and you will praise Him.

    Comment by meetingintheclouds | September 2, 2013 | Reply

    • Thank you Angela.
      2 thoughts stand out very clearly to me.
      Don’t hold back! and The time is NOW!

      Comment by Gloria | September 3, 2013 | Reply


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