Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

i will NOT cry!

I will NOT cry!  Think about something else, anything else.  I will NOT cry!

Let me back up.  For the past month and a half I have been dealing with a pain in the behind, literally.   I will spare you the details except to say that it is a whole new level of pain.  After three appointments with two general practitioners,  I had an appointment with a surgeon.  It was my great hope that since he was a specialist,  he would have other options for me.  Unfortunately, he was unable to complete the exam.  His recommendation was for me to see yet another doctor.

“We will make the appointment for four weeks from now.”

Four weeks??

What?

Are you serious?  I won’t last four weeks.

“I know that it is painful but………….”

Quite frankly I don’t remember what he said after that.  I am confident he has no personal experience with how painful it is.

So there I am in the exam room about to fall apart.  Looking back, maybe I should have. Why is it I feel the need to be strong?

As I follow him to the receptionist desk all I could think of was — I will NOT cry!  Think about something else, anything else.  I will NOT cry!

I make the appointment.  Then I walk out to the waiting room, tap my husband on the shoulder and head to the door.  I don’t trust myself to say anything.  As the elevator closes with just the two of us, I am no longer strong and I cry.

Four more weeks?  Then on top of that, a procedure is what this doctor sees in my future.  It is  a procedure he won’t do which is why the next referral.   I don’t want to be put under.  I don’t want to have the procedure.   I just want the pain to STOP!!

All the way to the parking lot I cry.

My husband looks over the pamphlet.  We pick up the  various things that ‘may’ help.  When we get back to our  town, he immediately goes to the local gym and adds me to his membership.  Doctor’s orders, so now that settles this issue for him.    No more Mister Nice Guy.    I will be exercising regularly.  Of course, there will be no biking – which is my favorite form of exercise.

The doctor did tell me that it is possible that it could  heal  on its own.  If it shows signs of improvement by my next appointment, I will be able to avoid the procedure.  I know that God can and does heal.  I also know that He uses doctors and medicine.

God also uses pain.  Pain is a teacher.  I get to decide if it brings me down or causes me to cling tighter to the grace and strength that God has for me.

God does not allow us to go through trials alone.   “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. ( Psalm 46:1)  It just so ‘happened’ that this appointment was on a Wednesday – Bible study night.  While I acknowledge the benefits of a good cry,  a time of worship and praise is much more powerful.  I left church refreshed and no longer view the next four weeks as an eternity.

I am the God that healeth thee.  I am the Lord your healer.  I sent my Word and healed your disease.  I am the Lord, your healer.  (singing Exodus 15:26b)

Lord, help me to remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that You and I can’t handle.   That is as true today as it was the first time I heard it.

2 Corinthians 12:7 -10  The Message

7-10 Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

click here for part 2

til next time

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May 8, 2014 - Posted by | living in a fish bowl, ministry, spiritual reflections | , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Comments »

  1. Sorry to hear about the pain . . . praying for you, that the problem will be fixed with no complications.

    Comment by meetingintheclouds | May 8, 2014 | Reply

  2. […] forward.  Not wanting a repeat of the previous fall, I managed to somehow land on my bottom.  (see blog on why that was not a good idea either )  I jump up as  quickly as I can, grab my keys and hobble to the foyer assuring everyone that I […]

    Pingback by what do you do when you fall down? « Living Life in a Fish Bowl! | May 12, 2014 | Reply

  3. […] It’s been four weeks.  (click here for the part one) […]

    Pingback by how many times? « Living Life in a Fish Bowl! | June 2, 2014 | Reply

  4. […] You might remember my last two visits where I barely made it into the elevator before  the tears started falling.  Click here for part one  […]

    Pingback by 6 weeks « Living Life in a Fish Bowl! | July 1, 2014 | Reply

  5. […] click here for part 1 of this journey […]

    Pingback by please don’t take it personal « Living Life in a Fish Bowl! | February 15, 2016 | Reply


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