Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

submit? who me?

When it is done right – submit is a good thing.  In fact, it is a wonderful thing.

“Wives submit to your husbands” (Eph 5:22)  has certainly been misinterpreted and in a big way.  Just tell someone you submit to your husband and see what comments you get.  Wait!  I really don’t recommend that.  Like I said that scripture has been misinterpreted and the looks and responses you will get aren’t usually encouraging.

Yes, the Bible says that wives are to submit to their husbands but what isn’t quoted hardly at all is that a husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church.  Think about that a minute.  That is a tall order.   He is also to nourish and cherish her and to love her like he loves himself.  (Eph 5:25-33)

When your husband is trying to love you like Christ loved the church, submitting to him is not difficult.

Oh, there are times that it is not easy but that is because sometimes I just want it my way and it may take me a minute or two (or a day or two) to recognize that my own selfishness is rearing its ugly head.

In our marriage we strive to be in agreement.  Generally we can but there are occasions where we reach a stale mate.  It is then that I submit and give my support to his plan.  You might think that is a cop-out but to me – knowing that he loves me and desires the best for our family helps me to submit and in doing so,  it keeps us united.  We are stronger united than we could ever be if we each had to have it our way.   I know that he realizes and doesn’t take lightly that he will answer to God for the direction he takes this family.

Let me give you a priceless example.  The preschool teacher informed me that our boys (we have twins) were not ready for Kindergarten.  In fact, she would not be graduating them with the rest of their class.  When my husband and I talked about it, he was adamant that they were starting K in the fall.  I begged and pleaded, pouted and cried.  (Like I mentioned, sometimes it takes me awhile to see that I am just wanting my way.)  I certainly was not ready for them to go to school.  They went.   It was truly the best decision for them, for our family, and even for me.

Over the years, there have been only a very few occasions where my husband and I have reached a stale mate but with each one I am strengthened for the next time.  I see the outcome.  Each time my trust and respect for my husband grows.  Has he gotten it right every time?  No.  However, his heart was in the right place and  he is a big enough man to acknowledge his error which just makes my respect grow even more.

So this bring me up to the latest and biggest thing before us.

A few years back he started talking of our church becoming a PAC church.  Parent Affiliated Church which means that we would launch a church plant in a neighboring town.  I brushed it off as a dream that wasn’t  a real possibility.  Our schedules were crazy busy and in a perfect world that would be wonderful but in the reality we lived in – it was just not feasible.

Fast forward:  some friends of ours received their credentials, God began to work on their heart also, the dream started taking on possibilities, scouting the town turned into finding a church available for practically nothing, our church board saw the potential and the need……

I would love to say that I jumped on board with enthusiasm and zeal.  Truth is i  was too overwhelmed to voice much.  All I could see was the work involved and another commitment that could possibly bury us.  We (Curt and I) spent hours talking and praying about this.  I told him that it would be so much easier if God would give me a piece of the vision or peace concerning all the work involved.  What God gave me was the reminder that Curt loves me and I can trust him.

There is no guarantee of what tomorrow will hold.  There never is.  But there is the promise that God will be with us and see us through.  My husband  feels very strongly that this is the way God is leading.  So I submit and get on board.  He has my full support and God knows all of my fears and concerns for I find myself telling Him often.

Truth is this is way too big for it to not be God.

My husband truly believes that this will be a good thing for our church and for the new church.  God is in the business of doing new things and stretching us.  So I throw off my comfy slippers and put on my running shoes.

The signs are there if we look.  What signs?  The signs that God is leading and blessing.  Yesterday we announced the board’s decision to start Dec 4.  Yesterday we also had the largest adult Sunday School class we have had in years and we had nine visitors in church. It was like God was saying to me “I got this!”

I can truly say that for me, now, it is exciting and a bit scary all wrapped up in a package that is titled “A Step of Faith.”

 “Behold, I will do something new,
Now it will spring forth;
Will you not be aware of it?
I will even make a roadway in the wilderness,
Rivers in the desert.  Isaiah 43:19 (NASB)

What is God saying to you?

til next time


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October 19, 2015 - Posted by | living in a fish bowl, ministry, Pastor's wife, spiritual reflections | , , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Bible fact: the original didn’t have section labels, paragraph separations, grammar, or even verse numbers – so it would have been read out loud as a whole (not in English, but the Greek because not everybody could read, but everybody could listen):

    … Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
    Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything…

    We separate the idea that everybody should submit to one another from the rest of the group, however, it doesn’t fit with the previous section either, so it’s by itself. Did Paul really mean that everyone must be submit to one another, but that husbands must not submit to their wives? We have to remember that Paul was writing to a culture were most marriages were arranged as business deals and had nothing to do with love. That’s why he tells the men to love their wives – because they didn’t when they married them. So technically, women are told to submit twice – to ‘submit to one another’ and ‘submit to their own husbands’; but the husbands are told to ‘submit to one another’ and that must by definition include their wives.

    Comment by Jamie Carter | October 19, 2015 | Reply

    • Personally I am glad that there are chapter and verses as it makes it much easier to reference. That said, I am a firm believer in taking scripture in context. I still believe that husbands should cherish and nourish their wives and love them as Christ loved the church. I don’t think that is something we throw out today. I think it has great application in our world where so many ‘fall out of love’ in 2015 – marry the one you love but then love the one you marry.
      I did not intend to imply that my husband never submits. We talk things out and sometimes we agree to go my way and sometimes his. We do submit to each other. Thanks for clearing that up. But when we are at a stale mate, someone has to submit. Or I suppose we could stay in that and not be united. No thanks. I believe my husband is the head of the family and for this opinionated, strong willed, independent woman – it works. I can trust Him and I can trust God.

      Comment by Gloria | October 19, 2015 | Reply

      • I think sometimes it’s easy to forget that just because it comes to easy to you that there may be situation where it’s difficult and unsafe for another family. So often the Bible is treated as a one size fits all solution when there are specific situations where it’s a problem. Take a compulsive gambler or drinker, they’ve wasted far too much money on their habits and left their wives precious little to support the kids on. The whole lot of the could be Christian, but a wife that never says no is not what God demands. Too many teachers would ignore the situation and say ‘always submit’ and if it leads to their run, pray to God that he can provide. Because it is better to obey and suffer than to be wise enough to prevent disaster, apparently.

        Comment by Jamie Carter | October 19, 2015

      • Jamie, I never said it was easy. In fact, I said that there were times it wasn’t easy. I also clearly said that when your husband loves you like Christ loves the church, when he cherishes you, — You must have skipped over that part. Please reread what I actually said.
        If you are married to a controlling, selfish man that is a whole other blog. If your husband is not committed to Christ – that is a whole other blog. I stand behind what I said 100%. I do not stand by what you are implying I said.
        NO WHERE did I say it is better to obey and suffer than to be wise enough to prevent disaster – nor did I in any way imply that. That is not a cherishing relationship. That is not a godly relationship.
        If my husband was a compulsive gambler then right there he is not loving me like Christ loved the church. It seems you are comparing apples and mushrooms.
        Again the huge fact that you are missing is that when someone loves and values you, submitting (when you are at a stale mate and a decision has to be made) is good. I can move forward now and silence the ‘what ifs’ because we are united. I trust him. Again, if you don’t or can’t trust your husband then you have much greater issues and that is a topic for another blog.

        Comment by Gloria | October 19, 2015

      • That’s the problem with the teaching, not necessarily with everyone who believes in it or acts upon it. I did not mean to imply you said any of these things, however, it’s the dark-side of the teaching with which you only have light-side experience. For every story of a loving relationship where submission is a perfect thing that represents the christ/church relationship, there are stories about how submission became a nightmare and more submission just made everything worse. I guess it’s hard for me to see the ‘light side’ as all that great when people I know have ‘dark side’ stories. I saw a story the other day about a church elder who was also abusive to his wife, he loved her, but he couldn’t stop himself from hurting her. The church said, “you’re too important to leave your position, we’ll talk to her.” She said that they told her to submit more but things got worse. It wasn’t until they went to another church that brought in a secular marriage counselor that they began down the path of healing. The funny thing about secular counselors is that they don’t teach biblical submission, but somehow, their marriage was restored when the teaching that she had to submit to him in everything was thrown out.

        Comment by Jamie Carter | October 19, 2015

      • As I see it, the teaching is not the problem. Those who distort and abuse the teaching is where the problem comes in.

        What you seem intent on bringing up is the distortion of the teaching and so you throw out the actual teaching too.
        The bible is very clear about the husbands role.

        Are you saying that the church elder in your story loved his wife like Christ loved the church? That he cherished her and nourished her? Of course not. You won’t find his behavior listed in 1 Cor 13. You have given a great example of someone distorting the biblical teaching of submission.

        It isn’t a light side or dark side. The dark side is not biblical. It is not an accurate representation of the biblical teaching. Do people take things out of context? yes. Does that mean we throw out the teaching? No. We correct those who try to use it for personal gain or distort it.

        “Every part of Scripture is God-breathed and useful one way or another—showing us truth, exposing our rebellion, correcting our mistakes, training us to live God’s way.” 2 Tim 3:16 (MSG)

        Comment by Gloria | October 19, 2015

  2. Reblogged this on Concierge Librarian.

    Comment by Fashionable Librarian | October 19, 2015 | Reply

    • thanks for the reblog. It is a touchy subject for a lot of people. I don’t claim to have all the answers but I do know that a husband and wife committed to Christ and each other can weather any storm and walk united.

      Comment by Gloria | October 19, 2015 | Reply

  3. […] Cheerfully expectant.  I needed that reminder at this time in my life. (submit? who me?) […]

    Pingback by day-to-day living « Living Life in a Fish Bowl! | October 21, 2015 | Reply

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