Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

conquering the mountain

mountainIt isn’t that I didn’t see it coming.  Really I shouldn’t be surprised.  Yet,  I get tired of the same old mountain.  This is one mountain that I would love to toss into the sea.  Yet I don’t think that is what Matthew 17:20 is talking about.

This mountain could make  Mount Everest appear small.  Treacherous terrain appears to be everywhere.   It is daunting and has almost a mocking quality that seems to be everywhere.   Yet I am confident that getting to the top of this mountain is an attainable goal.  Scripture says  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  (Philippians 4:13)

It takes more than determination and wanting it bad enough.  I really get tired of hearing people sayif you want it bad enough.... or  — well you must not want it bad enough.….   

It has very little to do with wanting it bad enough and much more to do with fighting the onslaught of rough terrain that threatens to send me back down the mountain side.   There I will need to  bandage my wounds  and have to begin all over again.

When that happens the mountain seems to actually get bigger.

mountain

What mountain am I talking about?  The mountain that looms in front of me every time I attempt to go on a diet or make a healthy lifestyle change.

As perimenopause is setting in, this mountain seems to have added a few twists and turns that I could truly do without.  Losing weight wasn’t a picnic before but add to that a dropping metabolism and I find myself facing a mountain of sheer rock. mountain

In the past I have said that just starting a diet means I will gain 5 pounds.  My husband has witnessed this more than once or twice.     I have tried writing down everything I eat.  I have tried numerous diet plans.   I have lost the same 20 pounds more times than I care to count.  Each time the mountain seems to grow.

For me, the carbohydrate diet is a good fit.   It is not truly a diet but more of a way of life for those people who are truly carb junkies.  Yet even though it is a good fit, that doesn’t stop the numerous  ways the mountain will try to sabotage my efforts.

So that brings me to today – day three of my carb diet.  The first three days are indeed the hardest.  My body is not happy.    It happens to love carbs and is doing all it can to remind me of that.

Then there is the  mountain.   It  has thrown all sorts of boulders at me in an effort to send me back down the mountain.   While this is not a surprise, it is still something I could do without.

What will tomorrow bring?  I don’t know but as we sang in first service today I know who holds tomorrow!!

til next time

Day 4 – Since I hadn’t posted this yet, I have a confession.   I almost caved to the boulders that were being flung down the mountain.  Last night I was overly tired, hungry and had faced some pretty difficult things.  I just wanted a sandwich.  Yes complete with soft yummy bread.

I have a great husband who caught me as I was smearing the mayo all over my bread.  What did he do?  He promptly tossed it in the trash and gave me a pep talk.  Whew!!  That was a close call.

Heading a little higher up that mountain.
ok that’s it for now 🙂

March 25, 2013 Posted by | living in a fish bowl, weight loss | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

old dog – new tricks?? is it possible?

What is important to you?

Could someone tell by looking at your life what you value?

Have you become trapped in  never-ending lists and forgotten what is most important?

Priorities – sometimes I really don’t like that word.  I know what is important to me.  Sometimes, though, I find myself getting caught up in doing things that take more time than I had thought and make those things that I feel most important seem to take a back seat.  The “urgent” replaces the vital — that sort of thing.  Ugh!!!

It seems that as soon as I get one thing off my list, two more jump on.  I have indeed become my mother.  I hardly remember her ever sitting down when I was growing up.  She would work a 10 hour day, come home, and be on her feet til bed time.  (She did sit for supper.   However,  if we weren’t eating at the table,  I would find her eating at the kitchen sink.)

I remember as a child thinking I was so not going to be like that.  I was going to take time for play and relaxation.  I did fairly well with that while the boys were growing up.  I made play time a priority.

Now that the  boys are adults the priority to keep play time in my schedule has gotten squeezed.   I am becoming more like my mother.  Well, you can’t eat off my floors and you don’t have to look far to find the dust bunnies, so I am not exactly walking in her shoes.  Yet the pressure to stay on top of it all is still there.

It is a driving force in my life.  For example, I may take a book out to my swing thinking that I will get some reading done.  I may make it two pages before I set the book down and start weeding.   It takes a long time to get through a book that way.

The other day Curt and I were talking again about the benefits of exercise.  We had agreed awhile back that neither one of us would add another commitment without giving up one we currently have.    I just did not see how exercise was going to fit into my schedule, nor what I would give up in order to find the time.

Yet I go back to the question what is important to you?  Health IS important. Some day I want to enjoy grand kids.  Yet, my life style does not usually reflect that health is important.  I eat way too many carbs and have no exercise routine.

Why carbs?  Carbs are  quick and portable.  I can grab a pop tart on my way out the door or I can take time to fix myself an egg.  Time, that is a huge factor.  It doesn’t help that I have trained my body to love carbs.   Set some form of a carb in front of me or a piece of fruit and I’d pick the carb almost every time.  I am a carb food junkie and not proud of that.

So, can you train an old dog new tricks?  I hope so, because this old dog needs to be retrained.

A couple of weeks ago I decided to add walking into my life.  What am I giving up?  Facebook — Oh not entirely.  I still have it up when I am doing other things on the internet.  I check it on my ipod but facebook time has been drastically reduced.

There are still days when finding that hour or even 1/2 hour is impossible but there are days that I manage to squeeze it in.  As for the  carbs — I am making time for that egg in the morning and determined to fit fruit into my daily diet.

It’s a start.  It is also really easy to fall back into old habits.  I’ve been told that if you do something for 30 days it becomes a new habit.  I have tried that and can say that it is not always the case.  Old habits are buried deep inside a person and will resurface if you let it.  Maybe that is why Paul stated in the Bible “I die daily.”  I Corinthians 15:31

til next time

June 23, 2012 Posted by | just thinking about stuff, weight loss | , , , , , , | 5 Comments

it ain’t easy

It’s been well over a month since I jumped on the bandwagon of healthy living.   I have lost the proverbial 15 pounds.    You know, that 10 or 15 pounds that you seem to lose and then gain and then lose again only to find it somewhere down the road.  It is most aggravating to me.

I know that it is important that I take care of my body and being overweight is not healthy for a number of reasons.  I know what to do.  It isn’t a matter of not knowing.  I have read more articles and books than even I care to admit to.  UGH!  Reading and doing are NOT the same thing.

Here is what usually happens.  I begin with all sorts of determination.  I decrease my food intake and increase my exercise.  I give myself a pep talk and I blanket it all in prayer.

A couple of weeks go by.

I step on the scale and ……..yup, I have gained weight.  Oh, I know the whole muscle weighs more than fat and it takes awhile.  Blah blah blah.  Yet this can derail me.

If it doesn’t……..

It is a lot of work to eat healthy.  I think more about my food when I am trying to lose weight than any other time.  About this time, things crank up and my schedule gets even wilder.  I don’t have the time to cut up all the veggies and stir fry my meat — this can derail me.

If I am side stepping those bumps in the road, then it is only a matter of time before the pressure kicks in and my body begins to scream for freedom from this healthy scene.   I want a piece of chocolate or that yummy pecan roll that someone brought to work.

Currently I am on the carbohydrate addicts diet.  It really isn’t so much a diet as a new way of eating food.  It works for me.  I feel great BUT it does get old.

Carbs are my comfort food.  No doubt about it.  Upset — bring on the mashed potatoes or pasta.  I love carbs.  My body wants carbs.   Carbs are a great feel good food.

So the next thing that can derail me is pain.  When I am in pain (physical or emotional) my body has a complete hissy fit — demanding that I give it what it needs to feel a release from the hurt.

This time, though, it is different.

I have had all of the above situations happen and I am still pressing on.  This is uncharted territory.  To God be the glory!

I  stuck it out when the scale went up.  I am grateful to God for the encouragement that came my way during that time.

I make time for food preparations.  Yes, I have even scheduled it in a few times.

I have guarded my schedule and made decisions that worked best for sticking with the plan.

I have looked physical and emotional pain in the eye and refused to turn to food.    This  last one was the huge test for me.

So I will continue to blanket this in prayer and take it one day at a time.  Maybe one meal at a time.

One thing is for sure — it ain’t easy!

til next time

June 12, 2011 Posted by | just thinking about stuff, weight loss | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

wedding

I have a daughter!   I am way excited that it is official.  She actually became my daughter (in my heart) months ago.

Top left is the best man (Chris’ twin) and the maid of honor (Galina’s sister)

Bottom right is  me and my baby boy.  We had a nice long walk to the front.  I enjoyed every minute of it.

Curt was honored to perform the ceremony.  It isn’t every day that you get to address the groom as ‘Son’.  It also isn’t every day that you get to be the first to introduce Mr and Mrs.


A picture perfect day!!

The brothers!!

The beauty of nature provided a wonderful background for pictures.

A most fitting cake topper.

All in all, it was a great day.  My sister was able to pick my mother up from the rehab center.  Mom is doing better and will be released this next week.  She still needs 24 supervision and I haven’t a clue what we are going to do.  I wish that I would not have had to deal with any of that during this most special week but we don’t live in a perfect world.    I’d love to say that I stayed on my food plan and continued to abstain from all forms of soda, but only in  a perfect world.

It is what it is!!!!

til next time

May 20, 2010 Posted by | dementia, relationships, twins, weight loss | , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

ups and downs

In the past my ‘diets’ have  resembled a horse race. 

 The gates are opened and it is Determination and Will Power out in front.   Next it is Right Choices with Satisfaction trailing close behind.  Bringing up the rear is Crazy Schedule, Stress, and lastly Frustration

Rounding the first corner it is Determination and Will Power still neck and neck.  Crazy Schedule is coming up on the outside.  Stress is trying to keep up with Crazy Schedule.    Frustration is still bringing up the rear.

Crazy Schedule has passed Right Choices and is neck and neck with Determination and Will Power.   Stress has passed Satisfaction and is closing the gap on Right Choices

Oh my, Will Power tripped and took Right Choices down with him. 

Wait — What’s this?  Frustration is coming from behind with speed like we haven’t seen here before.  Frustration flew right  past Satisfaction and side-stepped around Will Power and Right Choices.

FrustrationStress,  and Crazy Schedule are neck and neck as they round the final corner. 

Frustration wins by a nose!!    

Over and over again history would repeat itself.   I’d go for weeks and then try again.  Only to give up in frustration.   I’d  blame my crazy schedule and stress. 

68 days ago I started what will hopefully be my last ‘diet’.  It sounded all too familiar.  Yet I had to try.

The thing that surprises me most is that I am still working the plan.   Will power and right choices are still sometimes tripped up by frustration, crazy schedules and stress.   Some days satisfaction isn’t even in the race.  Yet the race is continuing.

The difference this time is that I have stopped believing the ‘lie’ that I had to do it perfect.  This time I am trying to extend to myself the same grace and understanding I would give to someone else who is trying to overcome a weight issue.    I would never counsel someone the way I have counseled myself in the past.  I am my very worst critic.  This has been my undoing as far as eating goes. 

I’d love to say that I have lost lots of weight.  Truth is I’ve only lost 18 pounds.   On the other hand, I’ve lost 18 POUNDS!!   When I think of an 18 pound turkey … enough said.

Each day is filled with ups and downs.  Learning to walk a steady course through the ups and downs of eating is something that God wants to teach me.    I hope that I am ready to learn it this time.    It is a daily journey. 

til next time

March 31, 2010 Posted by | living in a fish bowl, relationships, weight loss | , , , , , , , , , , , | 10 Comments

ready to be done with this now

What causes people to give up?

I’ve been thinking about that today.  It has been almost 30 days since I started my carbohydrate addicts diet.  I haven’t cheated, not once.  Well, that is until tonight.  Am I giving up?  I don’t know. 

I am tired.  I am tired of thinking about food.  I am really tired of dealing with food isshoos. 

I made a decision to take a break tonight but only if I blogged about it.   

Here is what my head knows.  God’s plan is for His children to take care of their bodies.  Eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep are all beneficial for healthy living.    Water is much better for the body than soda.  Carbs are not my friend.  Most importantly – God loves me even though I am overweight.  That is not an excuse to stay this way but, it is important to remember that nothing I do earns His love. 

My cholesterol is low, I don’t have high blood pressure, and I am not taking any medications.  I’d like to keep it that way.

Yet, here is what my mind thinks.  Who has time to make a salad?  Grabbing something on the run works.  I really get tired of rabbit food.  It costs more and takes more time to eat healthy and who has time for that?  Exercise?  You have got to be kidding.  How can I fit that in?

Here is what my body tells me.  Food is good!  Carbs are a great stress reducer.  Soda tastes better than coffee and certainly better than water.   Hungry now!  and the most common one — What are you thinking – that is not what I want!  Food can have a numbing effect – some refer to it as the ‘carb coma’.

Here is what the scale tells me.  I gain a pound or two right after starting a diet.  How does that make sense?  Then I start to lose –Two pounds here, two more here, then up a pound………….down a pound, down two pounds, up two and half pounds…… down four  pounds, down three and so forth. 

I have decided the scale is not my friend.  It has been a tool used in the past to derail my efforts.  That said I still feel compelled to step on it.  Like this morning — 13 1/2 pounds – not bad for almost 30 days.  Yet it doesn’t seem to be enough for all the effort given.

So tonight I will have my pizza and ice cream.  Let me tell you it is yummy!!!  Tomorrow?  Maybe I should get some extra sleep.

til next time

February 18, 2010 Posted by | weight loss | , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

spicy

My life is anything but bland, (that is except for possibly my food).  Life is the thing that happens while I am making  plans and going through the daily ‘routine’.    It’s just that very rarely is my life the same old same old.  Truly being a Christian is exciting.   What will God do with me today?  How will He use me?  What lessons will I learn?

I have purposed in my heart that this year I am going to be more aware of the abundant life that God has for me.   I am mindful to live in the moment.  I also am incorporating margins back into my daily life.  I am trying to be aware of the choices that I am making.

All of that leads me to the choice I made the other night.   If I have a choice between spicy or bland food, I take bland every time.  Add a little pepper and I am good to go.  I would rather not have my tongue screaming for water. 

 Thursday night Curt and I went out to TGI Fridays.   This is not a usual hang out for us so the menu is still very new.  Choices, so many choices.  *sigh*  However, the next day was the weigh in day.   In order to be good, I ordered one of the two things they have on their menu listed as low fat.  **patting myself on the shoulder**

It was the dragon fire chicken.  It sounded really yummy.  Chicken on a bed of rice with this sauce, a bit of that, some more of this, and mandarin oranges.  The picture and the mandarin oranges are what sold me on it.  It did help when the waitress said that it was one of her favorites.

When it arrived it actually looked similar to the picture.  That rarely happens. 

I began to eat and then my mouth was on fire!   I’m quickly thinking wha… what did I order???  Then it hits me.  Dragon fire chicken –  dragon fire chicken!   How did I miss that??? 

I’ll tell you how I missed that.  I was all wrapped up in this whole ‘gotta be good’  – ‘weigh in is tomorrow”  that I completely overlooked the dragon fire

I did manage to eat it.  I drank a lot of water (mine, Curt’s, and then mine again).  I kept telling Curt to look out because I was going to be breathing out flames at any point.  He just chuckled and continued eating his ribs and fries.  (ribs and fries *~* pouting now)  By the time I was done my tonsils were burning.   I am talking spicy hot.

After leaving the resturant we head over to Hy-Vee.  Hy-Vee has a lot of unusual things.  Curt decided to get some papaya chunks and crystallized ginger.  We do like to try new things.

Curt did comment, at the check out lane, that I have certainly changed the way I grocery shop.  Not a piece of junk food in the whole bunch.  It really did look pathetic.  Where were the pop tarts, chips, chocolate, and ice cream?? 

On the way home I open the ginger so we could  give it a try.   After all the package said “enjoy this tasty slice of sweet and spicy ginger as an after dinner mint or….”  After the dragon fire chicken I certainly could use some type of after dinner mint.  Once again I missed an important part of the description –  “spicy”.

I will say that if you want to awaken your taste buds, or maybe I should say alarm your taste buds, try some.  Even Curt, who likes his food spicy, was surprised at the punch that a little piece had.  It was indeed unusual and quite hot.

Later that evening we convinced Andrew to try it.  It was funny.  We then told him he could encourage his friends to try it also.  After all it is a very unusual taste.  Certainly my food choices were an adventure. 

The life lesson to be learned – in the zeal of trying to eat healthy don’t overlook key words.  😛

til next time

January 22, 2009 Posted by | get fit america, just thinking about stuff, life lessons, weight loss | , , , , , , | 1 Comment

how many days left??

The 100 day ‘get fit’ challenge has started.  There is something almost exciting about starting a diet.  It is even more so when there are a bunch of you all starting at the same time.   We have 10 people in our group.  Our fearless leader even managed to get one of the doctors to join.  Go king pin.

There is an electricity in the air.  On day one king pin cleaned out the cupboard at work.  No junk food for us.  She pitched a bunch of non-healthy snacks.  We really were a junk food junkie kind of group before this.  *sigh*

This morning I brought up a bushel load of diet pop to restock the frig and what did my eyes see when I opened the frig door??  A big ol bag of m & m’s.  I’m talking a jumbo ziplock bag – huge! 

Apparently someone forgot to tell Dr. B (from another office)  that we are all getting fit and trim.  So there I sit holding the bag and Jackie (aka Gidget) walks in.  Busted.    Did I mention the bag didn’t belong to me, nor was it opened??  LOL  Well, Gidget was quick to remedy that.  I should mention that I am not generally tempted by m& m’s but who knows.  After all it was the only junk food in the place.

  One of the girls lost 3 pounds already.  Go Sharon!!   We are certainly still in the honeymoon stage of this whole diet thing.   It is still very upbeat.  I hope the momentum continues.

I am glad that I joined.  I still hope that I don’t gain that 5 pounds I talked about earlier.  What I have decided is that I am going to focus on being mindful of the food I eat.   It is so easy to just grab a snack or piece of candy and continue on with whatever it is that I am doing.   I want to be mindful of what I am doing, and of what I am eating.

In fact mindful is the thing I am focusing on as this year starts.   Mindful – aware, attentive.  To really live in each moment.  I am great at multitasking but I am not so sure that has been a good thing.  To be mindful…. 

I am also working on being mindful of the abundant life that Jesus has for me.  Joy unspeakable and full of glory!!   It is so easy to get caught up in multitasking and schedules that my life no longer would be described as joyful – abundant.   It would better be described as too busy.  That is not the way it should be.  I am looking at things a bit different.  I am mindful of the wonderful things in my life.  I am taking time to live in the moment.

Getting back to this whole diet.  How many days are left??   It is going to be an adventure!! 

til next time

January 19, 2009 Posted by | get fit america, weight loss | , , , , , , | 3 Comments

doc’s dolly’s

What??   That is one name that was mentioned for our group.  Actually one of the husband’s refers to us that way already.  Oy!!  Just because we are a bunch of women and we work for an eye doctor.  Yeah, well his sense of humor needs adjusting  – no pun intended 🙂 

I plunked down my $20.00 this afternoon and caved to the peer pressure.   I am now part of our Get fit America team.  I did inform the ‘king pin’ that when all this is said and done, I better not be 5 pounds heavier.  It was pretty much a threat. LOL  Although I dare say she is not one bit afraid.  😛

Since this is something I am doing with my friends – does it qualify as fun??  The verdict isn’t in on that one.  I do know my attitude is a bit skeptical.

I do believe that the condition of our bodies is important to God.  I do believe that our friends can encourage us to get healthier or ….  I also know that the weight issue is like a diamond.  It has many different sides. 

I will, no doubt, be blogging about the experience.  I must say the beginning is off to a rocky start.  I phoned Curt this afternoon and told him I had to decide today and I was leaving it up to him.  That way I can blame him either way.  LOL  I crack myself up sometimes with my logic.

I told him I really didn’t want to waste $20.00 and end up gaining 5 pounds.   I will always have the t-shirt.   He said he wasn’t real worried about the $20.00 but was a bit concerned about the 5 pounds.  LOL    He did think there could have some benefits to being a part of something in the community. 

So the deed is done.  No turning back.  I guess you have to record your weight and activities.  Hmmm is typing an activity?? 

I’ll be adding a new category – Get fit America.

til next time

January 8, 2009 Posted by | get fit america, living in a fish bowl, relationships, weight loss | , , , , , | 5 Comments

not another diet

“Get fit America” is coming to my town again this year.  I avoided it last year like the plague.  Just the mention of a diet, followed by stepping on the scale, will produce a guaranteed weight gain for me.

This year some of my friends started talking about forming a work group.  (This could be a draw back to working with your friends.  LOL)  Instead of waiting for the notion to pass, one of them jumped on the bandwagon.  It has now taken on momentum and some have already plunked down hard earned cash.  *sigh* – peer pressure

Being the true friend that I am I told the ‘king pin’ I would be her cheering section.  I do that real well.  That wasn’t what she had in mind.

Now don’t get me wrong, I am all for getting fit.  I am all for losing weight.  I know that I will feel better.  I will have more energy.  What I don’t want to happen is the aforementioned weight gain.

I am changing the way I look at food.  I have always loved to eat.  I have not always had a weight problem.  I am trying to relearn right habits and get rid of old cemented bad habits. 

Fast food has  not been my friend.  It is way to handy when you are in a rush.  Ah, there is a key for me.  Slow down, don’t fill my schedule so full that fast food seems the only option.

I have til Friday to make up my mind as to whether or not I am going to join the group.  Whether I join the group or not, I do know that getting fit is on my list of things to focus on this year. 

This is something I know God is prompting me to deal with.  Oh, if it wasn’t so hard.

til next time

January 6, 2009 Posted by | get fit america, just thinking about stuff, weight loss | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments