Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

this is what they meant??

Prednisone you are not my friend.   You’ve been responsible for a flood of tears.  You bring with you weight gain but even worse than that you mess with my emotions in a way that I have never before experienced.   You had better be worth it.   (I go for a stress test Wednesday.  That will be interesting as the meds are kicking up my heart beat just walking.)

I  have always had a wide range of emotions.  I feel things strongly.  When I get excited, I almost always talk louder and faster.  Some, who don’t know me, think that this means I am getting angry.  No, getting loud is not synonymous with anger.   I used to try to subdue it but then people would ask me what is wrong?

(I now embrace the excitement but try to be aware if someone is misinterpreting my voice raising.    This recently happened when we were having a discussion about women ministers.   This topic is near and dear to me.   I feel very strongly about it.  There was a time when someone’s disapproval  and lack of understanding of scriptural context would get under my skin.  Funny thing is then I didn’t say anything.     Now I recognize the responsibility to speak up –   to educate – to point out that God’s Word does not contradict. I am not mad at the person for being misguided.)   Ahh a topic for another day.

So a few days ago my Dr. put me on a steroid to bring my sed rate down from a much elevated level.    I was warned by many that it messes with your emotions.  Even knowing that did not prepare me for Godzilla.

I have reminded myself that I am a child of God.    I reminded myself that I do have the fruit of the Spirit operating in my life.   Knowing that I am devoted to God and it is my desire to follow Him – I quoted the scripture “out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”  (Matthew 12:34)  

I pray  — Oh God break my heart for what breaks Yours.  Help me operate in the compassion that comes from You.  Help my words be kind.  Help me build up.  God, I NEED YOU to be kind through me….”

I also cleared my schedule today – a rarity for me.  I told my husband this would be a really good day for him to use the church office.  I was not doing people today.  I love people and that is why I was not going to leave the house.

I asked God what I should do.  How was I going to get through the next 11 days – til my follow up appointment.  Starting tomorrow I cannot clear my schedule.  Come Thursday I leave with a large group of women (that I love dearly) for a 2 1/2 day retreat.  Sitting there with God this morning, that scared me.

Weird as it sounds, I felt impressed to get on facebook.  I was thinking – ok I can distract my emotions with that for awhile.  First thing I saw, upon scrolling, was a song a friend had posted.  I remembered that song from long ago.  I listened to it and it was as if God was all over that song.  I thanked my friend and got offline.   I sat down at the piano and began to play the song – over and over and over.

 

 

I don’t know how the next 11 days will go.  How often will I need to apologize?   I don’t know if I will pass the stress test.   I don’t know what is ahead health wise after my follow up appointment.

What I do know is that God loves me.  God loves you.  His grace is enough.  In my weakness He has proven Himself strong EVERY SINGLE TIME.

If you see me, yes, I could use a hug.  Yes,  I will need grace.   Yes, I really am trying to keep Godzilla buried.   I apologize ahead of time and will do it again later as needed.  Please be understanding and please pray for my husband!!

Honey, I know you will be reading this.  I am soo glad that you are going through this with me.  I know your heart.

til next time

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March 25, 2019 Posted by | just thinking about stuff, living in a fish bowl, Pastor's wife, relationships, Woman Pastor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

labels -liberal – conservative

Don’t like what you see going on in our world today?

Lots of people are spouting their opinions and fueling the anger that seems to be boiling  across our country.  Free speech seems to gravitate into negative speech.  Things people would not say in person, they freely say hiding behind the internet.

Are you a liberal?  Are you a conservative?  I refuse to let that label define me or my friends.  I am a person. Respect, integrity, compassion, love — these are some of the things that define me.

I really want to tell some of my Facebook friends to “PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE post something that is not negative.  I get that you are not a fan of the current president.  I have friends in both camps.  Those for the president, please remember love is not puffed up.  (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)   Get into a solution.  Tell about something you are doing to make your world better.  Clearly posting argumentative junk is not healing the divide.  How about pictures of your dog or your food?  Is anything good in your life?

 

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“Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 (NKJV) This applies when things are going great and when we encounter situations that are difficult.

Are you contagious? Do others look at you and want the joy, peace, hope, love…..that they see in you? Don’t let the hardships of life dim your light.

Recognizing that we can trust fully that God is in control, is an ever-present help in trouble (Psalm 46:1) and is for us (Psalm 118:6) enables us to laugh without fear of the future. (Proverbs 31:25 NLT)

Don’t like what you see going on in our world today? How about if you make it a point to do one random act of kindness everyday? I may not be able to change a nation but I can change my corner of the world and make it a brighter place. I am blessed to be a blessing. (Genesis 12:2)

What about you?

Let us demonstrate the overcoming power of God in our lives.

This little light of mine – I’m gonna let it shine!!
light

til next time

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February 3, 2017 Posted by | just thinking about stuff, living in a fish bowl, ministry, pastor, Pastor's wife, Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

eight weeks

Eight weeks ago I started a daily devotional on our PAC facebook page.   I gave it some serious thought and prayer before starting it.  A daily commitment is big deal.    Yet it was right along with what God has been leading me to do when I left  my job at the eye clinic.

Here are the daily topics:

  • Sunday Special
  • Memorization Monday
  • Tuesday’s Teaching Moment
  • Wonderful Wednesday
  • Thirsty Thursday
  • Fabulous Friday
  • Saturday’s Song

I try to keep it at 175 words or less which is a great discipline for me.  It forces me to schedule study time  into my day.  This is in addition to my own devotional time.   Who would have thought finding time to study would be an issue?  God is so good.  He knows my heart and my desire.

He gave me the push I needed.  He does that, we need only to pay attention.

Eight weeks — It sure doesn’t seem like eight weeks.

Today,  Tuesday’s Teaching Moment (my 57th post) was a bit of a challenge.   It had me wondering if I had truly counted the cost.  When I realized that with God’s help I had already done 56, it made me pause in Awe of the daily help that comes from God.

I am in Awe of His Word and how life changing it is.  I am in Awe that God would continue to use me.  Me – with all my imperfections and hang ups.  I am in Awe that God’s unending love continues to mold me.  Because of Jesus, I can share the hope, love and joy that I know is mine and available to all.  To God be the glory,  in my weakness He is strong!  (2 Cor 12:9-10)

In the beginning, I opened it up to the other four ministers at our PAC church.  While I would most certainly welcome the help, I am grateful that God enables me to do what He puts in my heart to do.

We are not all called to do the same thing but we are all called to represent Him.

Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.”  Matthew 5:16 (NKJV)

til next time,

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April 12, 2016 Posted by | living in a fish bowl, ministry, Pastor's wife, Woman Pastor | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Facebook

Last night at church I was asking Hannah when she was going to write a new blog.  She said that I really needed to get on facebook.

Ugh!! One more bit of techno cyber babble that I have to muddle through.  Just the thought of going through the whole process made me nauseous.  Then I thought to myself ‘just do it’.  Once again a reminder of how valuable good advertising is. 

So after church I plunge in with both feet.  Haven’t got a clue what I was doing or if it would even amount to anything.  Just about the time I think I am in over my head, this little red box appears and Tonya has sent me a message.  What a dear friend.  Isn’t that what friendship is all about?  She was right there to welcome and encourage me.

Next thing I know there is another red box.  A friend who I hardly ever see anymore, but is very dear to me, has sent me a message.  So now I am pumped up and ready to continue down the road called facebook.     

While I would love to sit down and chat face to face, it seems that isn’t always feasible.   I can log onto facebook in my jammies, any hour I want and whenever I want.  This does have its appeal.   

I am grateful for friends – Friends who come along side me, giving me a bit of push when I need it  – who also encourage me and speak into my life.

Life is good

til next time

September 18, 2008 Posted by | just thinking about stuff, relationships | , | 4 Comments