Living Life in a Fish Bowl!

Gloria’s take on life.

how many times?

There is  a song out by Plumb that just about knocked me off my feet when I heard it.   It truly is my heart’s cry put to music.

Every once in a while I hear a song that just grips my heart.  The Warrior is a Child by Twilla Paris is one of those songs.  Praise You in the Storm by Casting Crowns is another one.  Blessings by Laura Story also makes the list.

“Need You Now (How many times)”   by Plumb

First, she starts off with the truth that no one is isolated from pain.  No one!

Everybody’s got a story to tell.  And everybody’s got a wound to be healed. I want to believe there’s beauty here.  Cuz Oh I get so tired of holding on.  I can’t let go.  I can’t move on.  I want to believe there’s meaning here.” 

I believe that God is in control and therefore nothing happens without a purpose.  That said, sometimes we all  need to be reminded that we do believe there is beauty and meaning in our lives.  God has a plan and it is good. (Jeremiah 29:11)

I  was familiar with the chorus before I ever heard her sing it.  “How many times have you heard me cry out ‘God, please take this’?” 

“God, please take this.”   I don’t know how many times I have said just that.  What freedom there is in those four words.  Yet sometimes we shoulder the burden for way too long before we remember to ask God to take it.

I don’t have to have all the answers.  I don’t have to have it all figured out.     Good thing too because so much of life doesn’t fit into a tidy little bundle of reason.  Ah, but I can cry out to God to please take this and the weight can be lifted from my shoulders.  He gives me a peace that passes all my understanding. (Philippians 4:7)

“How many times have you given me strength to just keep breathing.   Oh I need You!  God, I need You now.”

God has used various ways to remind me to breathe.  My favorite recently was the Dove chocolate wrapper that said “Take a deep breath”.   God gives us strength to keep going, to breathe, to get through the next moment!

“Standing on a road I didn’t plan.  Wondering how I got to where I am.  I’m trying to hear that still small voice.  I’m trying to hear above the noise.”

Peri-menopause is a road I didn’t plan.  I had heard stories, lots of stories but somehow I just thought I would sail right through with little problem.   I remember thinking ‘how bad can it possibly be?’   Well, I am trying to hear that still small voice.  I am most definitely holding on to God.  I need Him NOW!

“Trying to hear above the noise.”  The first time I heard that line I practically cried.  You might think that is silly but it’s been over a year now since the ringing started in my ears.  Some moments I have to try very hard to hear above the noise.

“Oh I walk,  Oh I walk through the shadows and I, I am so afraid.  Please stay, please stay right beside me every single step I take.”

Psalm 23:4 “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;…”   My battle with my mom’s dementia has made me so grateful that God is right beside me in every single step I take.

How many times have you heard me cry out??  How many times have you given me strength? 

Everybody’s got  a story to tell.  Everybody’s got a wound to heal.  Whatever you are going through, whatever challenge you are facing — cry out to God and let Him take it and give you in return – His strength.

til next time

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November 1, 2012 Posted by | dementia, living in a fish bowl, menopause, perimenopause, spiritual reflections | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

48 hours

I don’t know if it is that life seems to be flying at warp speed or hormones are all over the place (thank you perimenopause) or that some how I have shrunk the margins in my life but I am finding myself tired a lot lately.

Margins are necessary spaces  that give me room to breathe.  Just as margins and spaces are needed when writing a letter, margins are needed in life.  It is allowing myself some wiggle room.  Recognizing necessary boundaries is another way to look at it.  What it isn’t is filling up my days with so much activity that exhaustion is a  common result.

IfIweretowritealetterusingnospacesitwouldbedifficulttowrite.

I want to live life to the fullest.  Yet in life if I am not careful I  meet myself  coming and going.   My  to-do list can stretch on endlessly.   The demands of the job, others, or demands I put on myself can be mentally exhausting, not to mention unhealthy.   Even fun activities require energy.

My wonderfully smart husband decided that it was time to slow things down and take some time off.   We cleared our schedule and took some much-needed time off for rest.

48 hours to be exact.   After work on Thursday we drove out to the campsite.  Nothing on the agenda for the next 2 days except rest and relaxation.

Going from full speed ahead to coming to a halt was a bit difficult for me.  Then add to it that we were the only camper in the whole park.  Yes, that was just a bit creepy for me.  Not to mention that  it was rainy and cold.    However, Curt put on a movie.  (Yes, we were roughing it.)  The campers heater finally kicked in  and some how I made it til morning.  Everything looks better in the morning.

We have this great deal, my husband and I.

Camping has not always been a good experience for me.  In fact some of the worst times of my life have been while camping.   So, the arrangement we have is that if I will go camping with him then he will be my knight in shining armor and I am queen of the camper/tent.  This particular trip I was mentally exhausted and he was indeed my knight in shining armor.

In addition to watching a couple of movies, I read an entire Louis L’Amour book and did some studying on rest and the importance of proper margins/boundaries in my life.

Chris and Galina came out for supper Friday night.

We played UNO and Galina was on a winning streak.

While Curtis on the other hand liked to collect cards.

As you may notice we don’t sit next to our mate.  The reason for this is that the men in my family like to play cut throat and it is just better for the spouses to not be on the receiving end of that.

Finally Curt did win a game.

What Curtis really  excelled  at Friday night was pie making.

Or was it pie swording?

Um that isn’t a sword, but I did feel like I needed to grab the other one for defensive maneuvers.    Boys will be boys!

On Saturday it was nice enough to sit outside.

Returning to the Merry-go-round of life it is now  up to me.  Will I allow myself to return to  charging full speed ahead or will I install some margins back into my day?  I do believe that God gave us an example to follow when it comes to resting.  Genesis 2:2 “By the seventh day God had finished the work He had been doing; so on the seventh day He rested from all His work.”    Taking time to rest is important to over all health both mentally and physically.

48 hours  – yes sometimes you just need to clear your schedule and get away!

til next time

October 21, 2012 Posted by | just thinking about stuff, perimenopause | , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments